


in the depths of you

by vectacular



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:30:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3802027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vectacular/pseuds/vectacular
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started simple, but something spanning years is bound to get complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings** for dense idiots, underage kissing, and sexual acts~ (Also, I have been informed there is premium gay in here.)
> 
> Title from _ANGELTHEORY_ 's [Desire](https://charlesfenech.bandcamp.com/track/desire)~ 
> 
> This work, which I've had unfinished in my docs since last year, is dedicated to my lovely wife, [Karin](http://falsehero.tumblr.com/), for being the motivation to actually finish this since you love it so~ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
> 
> Also, this is like... pick-and-choose canon compliant, since ~~for all we know~~ this didn't happen in canon. Idk. It's very long and it'll be weird for this to be posted, for me. Plus, it's been written over _months_ , so there's like, inconsistent writing styles, but the vast majority of it was written this year. :D Originally, I thought it'd be like, 10k, so...

They’re fourteen and he’s reading as Hide plays Pokemon by his side on his bed.

Until Hide starts elbowing him and he’s pulled out of the book, blinking at his best friend. “Hey, I’m gonna do something crazy,” voice cracking and then proceeding to kiss him. _On the mouth._ He gapes, eyes going wide as Hide fidgets with his DS. “It-we could practice on each other…” he says quietly, “it doesn’t have to mean or change anything and I’m sorry I shouldn’t’ve…”

Tuning out Hide’s ramblings, he stared down at the words in front of him, feeling his face heat up as he thought about what Hide said. He hadn’t really thought of things like that, aside from what he read. It’d be nice to know these things, wouldn’t it? Plus, it’s _Hide_! If there’s anyone he’d feel comfortable with, it’s definitely Hide.

Biting his lip, he catches Hide’s eye and nods, making the blond stutter before stopping. They awkwardly smile at each other, and he wonders if he should kiss Hide back. Or would he be kissed again? Hide must’ve picked up on his thoughts, because he moves closer, letting out a small _can I?_

He nods again, sucking in a breath as lips were pressed against his. It feels like… skin. And he can see the many shades of brown in Hide’s eyes this close. Breaking the kiss, he hides his face in his book, unsure with how to do deal with feeling weirdly warm inside.

And… on his right side? Looking over, he sees Hide’s head on his shoulder, his best friend cuddling into him as he resumes playing his game. Smiling, he scans the page until he found where he was up to and continues reading.

* * *

 

From then on there was occasional kissing when they’re hanging out in each others rooms, and it became a useful tool for Hide when he wanted to annoy him out of homework, or to say ‘good morning’ and ‘bye’.

As time went on, he got more confident as they shared kisses and he enjoyed the smile Hide got on his face after he was the one who started to kissing first. It made him feel light and happy. Well, he always felt happy around Hide, but it’s a different kind of happiness.

And even though he’s at the age where he knows about sex, there was no pressing need to go further, even with classmates bragging and his brief foray into medical and romance books. Hide didn’t seem to mind either.

He did start having weird thoughts as they got older though, making him feel _warm_ inside. Like how it’d feel to bite Hide’s neck. Or what those hands would be like clutching him. And sometimes Hide would speak and he’d get caught on the way Hide said something. Hide has a really nice and comforting voice, but the way he’d say “forest” or “magic” would make him turn over the words for something… more.

* * *

 

This day hasn’t been a good one, which is why he’s sitting near the river with one of his favourite books to retreat into. After a while, Hide comes to sit next to him, lightly bumping shoulders with him. He finishes a chapter, blinking at his best friend, who just smiles and looks around, then presses lips against his softly.

He squeaks, “w-what was that for?!”

Hide shrugs, smile still on his face as he stands up, “no reason. Wanna come over for dinner?”

* * *

 

Gulping, he stares at Hide, then at the door to his room anxiously. With his _family_ on the other side of that door. His aunt told him that morning that they had things to do in the afternoon, so why were they _here_? “You should go,” he whispers, looking at Hide pleadingly.

Hide huffs and crosses his arms. “ _No._ Just ignore them! They’re a whole room away.” His best friend whispers loudly, poking him on the shoulder.

“Yeah―but―“ _you know what they’re like. I don’t want you to be a target like me._

Something soft touches his lips, and he blinks at the blond in surprise. “Don’t worry about them. They’re not in here, are they?” Hide whispers confidently, and he leans into his best friend’s hand as it curls around his neck, feeling fingers thread into his hair.

“No, but still―“ he’s cut off with another soft kiss, and his heart speeds up. Hide’s other hand comes up to hold his face lightly, and it’s only natural to clutch the blond’s arms, comforted by Hide’s warmth.

Hide’s thumb strokes his face, making him smile even as the kiss ends. “Just focus on me, okay?”

He nods slightly at the other’s soothing voice, putting an arm around Hide’s neck, focusing on how warm Hide is, on Hide’s small _oof!_ as the blond falls onto to the bed, on how Hide hugs him tightly, on **_Hide_**.

* * *

 

“I can’t believe you’re fifteen already! How does it feel?” He’s pretty sure Hide’s smiling brightly, hearing it in his best friend’s voice, making him squint at the ceiling of his room. Did Hide really call him up so early in the morning to ask _this_?

“Like I’m fifteen,” he says flatly.

“Awwww, did I interrupt your beauty sleep?” On the other end, Hide laughs. Against his current mood, he smiles. Reluctantly.

“ _Hide_ , what is it?” He turns on his side to squint at the wall instead.

“Well, one of the best guys _ever_ just turned fifteen! Also, my parents want to make sure you’re still up for dinner tonight,” and there’s a pause before, “I’m sure there’s gonna be _cake_ ,” he can feel another smile tugging at his lips at Hide’s quiet, conspiratorial tone. Hide definitely looked around shiftily while saying it.

“If they’ll have me,” he hides his face in his pillow. Why did Hide always have to make him feel so _happy_?

Hide _tuts_ , “of course they’ll have you! And there’s gonna be presents too!! I can’t wait for tonight, Kaneki!!!!”

He groans and rubs his face with a hand, “With that excited voice, I could never tell.”

His best friends snickers, “alright, alright. I’ll let you get back to your sleep, birthday boy~” Hide blows a kiss, then hangs up.

Feeling his face start to turn red, he hides in the pillow more, pulling the sheets up over his head. Only Hide has the gift of making him feel so content so early in the day. _It’d be nice to wake up to Hide every day..._

* * *

 

Hide’s doing something odd with his hair, which he’d deal with if his book wasn’t so interesting. Besides, it’s not like Hide’s doing anything harmful apart from messing with it.

Feeling Hide separate another lock of hair, he twitches, focusing on his book more. It was Hide’s idea to come to this park for the blooming sakura trees, which made it the perfect atmosphere for getting lost in a book. _But you can get lost in a book anywhere, Kaneki!_

He’s blaming that Hide-sounding mental voice on the fact that his best friend isn’t talking. He’s also blaming it for his concentration breaking.

Another lock of hair gets lifted, and now that he’s paying a bit of attention to it, it feels like something’s being placed in his hair. Curiously, he lifts his head up to look at his best friend, “Hide, what’re you…“ he trails off, blinking as sakura petals fall in front of his face.

The blond huffs and flicks his hair, making more petals to fall. “ _Ka-ne-ki_ , you ruined it~”

“What are you even _doing_?” Now he’s just confused, especially when he looks down to find more sakura petals covering the pages of his novel.

“Shhhhh, go back to reading. I’m making your hair pretty,” Hide pokes him above his ear, and he rolls his eyes, carefully swiping off the petals off the pages, finding his spot again as Hide places more sakura petals in his hair.

* * *

 

He looks around, looking through the crowded street. It’s a festival and Hide’s meant to―

“KANEKI!!!” The sudden hug makes him cry out, and he’s disoriented as he’s twirled around to face his energetic best friend, who has hands holding onto his shoulders. “You look so pretty!!!” Hide bounces on the balls of his feet and gives him a bright, beaming smile.

Blushing, he stares down at the ground. He really doesn’t see why his plain black yukata deserves Hide’s gushing. Especially when Hide’s is much more colourful, with blue at the bottom, melting into yellow and orange at the top. It reminds him of the sky. “You look pretty, too.”

He can feel Hide’s beaming turn up a few notches, and he blinks as an arm links with his. Hide hums happily as they start walking through the people.

“Where are we going?”

Hide stops and lets go of his arm, making him look over to see his best friend tapping his chin in thought. “I want to win goldfish for you!” The blond nods and loops arms with him again.

“Are there even goldfish here? And what about my…“ Lips brush against his cheek quickly, causing his face to feel even more warm and for his heart to beat fast as he stares at Hide.

“Silly, there’s always goldfish! And well…“ Hide trails off, staring at the night sky above them in thought. “I win the goldfish and take it home, but it’ll be _your_ goldfish!” His best friend nods and pulls him along the street.

 _Can’t argue with that, I guess._ “What if you waste all your money on the goldfish though, I don’t want you to to be broke because of me.”

Hide waves his other hand, “don’t worry, I got a _lot_ of money for this!! And after, we could get food! _Lots_ of food!”

Sighing, he adjusts their linked arms, knowing that Hide would undeterred tonight. “I doubt you have _that much_ money, though.”

His best friend gives him a wounded look, complete with a small pout. “I have _enough_.”

“That’s what you said last festival,” he says pointedly.

“Well I’ve _learnt_!” Hide huffs.

“I’m sure you have,” he says placidly.

* * *

 

It’s the morning of his sixteenth birthday, and his best friend is knocking a rhythm on his door. Groaning, he pulls his pillow over his head, and Hide soon stops his assault on the door. He sighs in relief, but it was apparently short-lived because the knocking starts up again. It sounds like something he vaguely remembers blasting from Hide’s headphones when they were studying earlier in the week.

Resigning himself to no more sleep, he gets up and groggily makes his way to the door. He takes a deep breath to brace himself before opening it.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY KANEKI~!!!” As expected, Hide gathers him up in a tight hug, and he’s sure that if they weren’t at a doorway, there’d be twirling. And even though his mind hasn’t gone past the excited tone, he’s hugging back, with his arms going around Hide’s waist. They stay like this for a few moments before he pulls away.

“I can’t sleep in?”

Hide looks at him softly, “dude, it’s like _ten_. I’ve let you sleep in enough!” Laughing, Hide pushes him into his apartment and shuts the door.  The blond then leads him over to his couch, bouncing as they sit down and bringing him in for a swift kiss. Blinking, he looks down at Hide’s clothes, seeing a distinct lack of anything package-like.

“Don’t you usually get cake?”

“I thought we’d do that later. After a bookstore or something.” Hide shrugs, and his mind gets stuck on the _later_.

“Later?” He echoes, making Hide sigh and poke his temple. Pouting, he rubs at his temple.

“Yes! Because we’re gonna spend your birthday together, _obviously_ ,” Hide explains patiently. “Or are you expecting me to ditch you?” At this, the blond looks at him with narrowed eyes and crosses his arms,“you aren’t, are you?” Hide sounds almost-offended, the hurt in his voice waking up the rest of his half-asleep mind.

“W-what? No, no!” But Hide’s popular, always getting texts and calls from other club members or a committee and sometimes he _does_ think Hide would forget him under his vibrant social life. Then there are moments like this, and he berates himself for thinking like that. “I just woke up,” he complains and Hide sniffs, turning away. “... Wait. You said bookstore?”

Hide turns back, grinning as he got something small and rectangular out of his jacket and presenting it to him.

A gift card. For his second-favourite bookstore.

“I was gonna get you a book but I already―um. It should have enough on there so you can buy a few and I know it’s not your _favourite_ but―“

“ _Thank you_ ,” he breathes, taking the card delicately, gulping down a swell of emotions as he looked at the glossy finish. “I love it.”

He can hear Hide’s eyes roll as he says, “and that’s why I got it for you.”

Spurred on by the light feeling in him, he grabs Hide by his shoulders and joins their lips, and he can feel as Hide tenses then quickly relaxes. He moves closer, tilting the other’s head slightly and Hide’s hands grip his arms and suddenly something _sparks_ within him, making him lose his breath and it’d be easy to just open Hide’s mouth with his tongue and put his hands underneath Hide’s shirt and he could imagine it so vividly so why isn’t he―

He jumps away from Hide, sure that his face was red as he tries _not_ to think tongue-kissing his best friend, “w-we should go!” He was stopped from running to hide in his room by Hide grabbing his wrist, and he forces himself to look at his best friend’s confused face.

“With you in your pajamas?” Hide sounds skeptical, and he’s being pulled closer and his heart only just calmed down and something must’ve shown on his face because Hide lets go, looking a bit concerned.

“I’m―I’ll go get changed!” He sprints to his room, wincing at how loud the door shut, picking out and then changing into a black shirt and jeans. And he still has the gift card in his hand, somehow. Putting it into his wallet, he absently looks at his bed as a sentence circled through his brain.

_What… that was… ?_

* * *

 

The day passed in a flurry of books (he got five new books! _Five!_ ), embarrassment (Hide sung along very loud and off-key with the staff as they bought out birthday cake after their lunch), and music (because Hide’s _pleaseplease_ face is impossible to say no to, and the music shop made him happy, so he’s happy too).

Yawning, he opens his door and puts his bag of books on the floor near him as he sat down on the couch, feeling content as Hide shut the door and joins him. He moves to get one of his books out, but a poke on his arm makes him look at Hide, ignoring the way his stomach flutters, which it had been doing a lot of the day.

All he saw before being kissed was Hide looking oddly serious, and his pulse jumped at the way Hide pulled him in, a hand moving to tilt his head ― a mirror of what he did this morning ― but the tongue against his lips was new.

And slightly terrifying. “Wh-what… “

Hide pulls away a bit, “too much?” He sounds apologetic, and he tries to concentrate on replying, but the thumb massaging his neck and the warm breath on his mouth are very distracting.

He licks his lips, and the way his tongue accidentally touched Hide’s lips makes him go red, “Uhhhh… I just―it’s. Um.” Hide moves further away and he clutches onto the other’s hip because he actually _doesn’t_ want him to move away, want coursing through him.

“Should I… ?” _Stop?_ And now Hide sounds concerned.

“N-no. It’s just… surprising.”

Hide lets out a small laugh, his face becoming red too. “Sorry, I just…” The blond trails off, looking away and scratching his cheek with his other hand. _Is Hide… ? He is? Nervous and embarrassed like me?_

Smiling, he goes in to kiss his best friend, and the tongue asking for permission was expected, but he still freezes for a second, and his hands go to clutch Hide’s face as he makes himself relax, opening his mouth. Their teeth clash and he winces, pulling himself away. He doesn’t get very far before Hide kisses him again, and his insides feel fluttery as they slowly kiss, and he melts as Hide licks at his lips again, and this time he’s more excited than scared as he lets Hide in. They’re moving but all he knows is that Hide’s tongue in his mouth is weird, and that he feels surrounded by his best friend.

And having to breathe kind of sucks. Reluctantly they part, and he opens his eyes to see Hide looking up at him from where he’s now laying on the couch, the intense stare making him want. He’s surprised by how much he wants this, and he licks his lips to say… well, something, but Hide’s eyes are now focused on his lips.

They can talk later anyway. So he goes in for another kiss, and Hide meets him halfway.

* * *

 

After that, it’s like a dam broke and they just can’t get enough of each other. He’s sure it’s only around half the time they can be together alone without jumping on one another.

On his bed and underneath Hide, he sighs into the clumsy kiss, and he feels tingly as the other’s hands roam over his chest. “ _Hide_ ,” he pulls the blond closer by throwing an arm around Hide,, with his other hand going under a soft shirt.

Hide breaks the kiss, lips brushing down his jaw and he arches up slightly as light kisses are peppered around his neck. The blond’s hands stop at the hem of his pants, and Hide looks up at him, face red. “Can I… ?”

He gulps, face heating up as he considers what Hide’s implying. “Sure,” he whispers, and he can feel his ears go red as Hide gently unzips his pants. Tugging at Hide’s shoulder, the blond meets him for a kiss, and he’s sure his face is the reddest it’s ever been as he feels hands pull down his pants and underwear.

Inexplicably, Hide begins laughing and soon enough he joins in, caught by how infectious the blond’s mirth. “I―I’m sorry, I don’t know…“ Hide says, and there’s short bouts of laughing as the blond kisses all over his face.

He keeps laughing, too. At least, until a hand tentatively touches his cock, making him suck in his breath. It feels _weird_ , and his mind feels hot as Hide starts to stroke it and then stops, Hide shifting to look at him guiltily.

“I, um… how do you… ?”

Will the blushing in his face be permanent after this, he wonders as he stares down at where Hide’s hand is. “Ummm…“ licking his lips, he takes his hand out from under Hide’s shirt, slowly intertwining it with Hide’s so he can stroke it the way he likes.

Above him, Hide lets out an oh, and he briefly looks up, finding Hide’s eyes wide before he looks away as pleasure slowly builds within, and his mind feels messy as he shyly uses his free hand to pull at the fly of Hide’s jeans, annoyance rising since the buttons seem so hard to unbutton. “You don’t have to,” Hide breathes, kissing his cheek.

“I _want_ to,” he grounds out, arching his hips into Hide’s hand.

Hide pulls his hand away and he moans at the loss, “waitwait, just let me―“ the blond mutters, motioning to move, and he does, shifting closer to the edge of his small bed,  confused as Hide lies down next to him. Hide undoes his jeans and throws his shirt off and then leans over him to pull his own shirt off, and then removing his pants and underwear, with Hide taking off his own after. “There,” Hide says, proud that they’re now both _naked. While we’re―_

Gulping, he looks at Hide’s bicep, too embarrassed to look anywhere else. A hand touches his thigh, making him jolt in surprise as it continues up, and he lets out a shaky breath as Hide starts to slowly stroke his cock. Biting his lip and shutting his eyes, he puts his hand on Hide’s chest, feeling his way down to―

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hide whispers and he can feel the blond come closer, his hand on the other’s stomach as Hide kisses him softly. He focuses on the kiss, opening his mouth as the kiss turns deep and soothing. The kiss ends slowly, “you really don’t have to.”

He frowns, annoyed with Hide’s words, and so he uses his annoyance to make his hand go down to Hide’s cock, causing the blond to gasp. It’s a weird feeling of same-but-not as he clumsily strokes. Soon, a hand intertwines with his, and Hide moans as they fall into a rhythm.

The hand on his cock develops a rhythm too, and he can only hear their breathing and moaning as they jerk each other off. He presses closer to Hide, biting his way into the other’s mouth, and the hand joining his leaves to cup his jaw.

His orgasm rolls over him, causing him to pant into Hide’s mouth, and it only takes a few more strokes until Hide comes too. Blushing, he pulls away, looking at his sticky hand and then around the room, finding their clothes scattered far away from the bed. “Did you have to throw them so far,” he whispers to himself, reluctantly getting up to pick up his shirt to clean his hand off.

* * *

 

As much as he loves Hide’s parents, he’s glad they’re off at work often because this would be awkward to explain.

Straddling Hide on his best friend’s bed, he bites down the other’s neck, pulling at Hide’s shirt until it gets taken off, then continuing down the chest in front of him. His hands go down to take off Hide’s belt as he licks a nipple, and the moans he’s getting are _very_ encouraging, but he’s straining to hear a specific kind of moan today, which he’ll know as soon as he hears it, so bites at the warm skin on his way to the other nipple, delighting as Hide holds onto him.

His hands fiddle with the button and zippers until they come apart, and he’s kissing his way down Hide’s stomach until a hand scratches his shoulder and Hide lets out a _get back up here_ sound and he pauses to look up in confusion, before crawling his way up. Hide catches him in a deep kiss, and he moans as he’s pulled closer, erections brushing and making his breath stutter.

Sparks flare behind his eyes when Hide’s hands grab his ass, making them rut against each other, his hands grip Hide’s hips and he can feel his orgasm building quickly, and he couldn’t help but bite at Hide’s neck, which made _that_ sound come out, and he moans as he comes, his best friend following soon after.

Breathing deeply, he hid in Hide’s neck as embarrassment snuck up on him, feeling his face and ears go hot, and he focuses on the patterns being massaged onto his back by Hide’s hands.

“You. Reading.” Hide says breathlessly, and _what?_

He shifts to look at Hide’s face in confusion, “huh?”

Hide looks thoughtful, biting his lip as he explains, “you get all… focused. Like when you’re reading. It’s,” he pauses, and finishes quietly, looking down at his bed, “it’s nice.”

Sighing, he goes back to his previous position, briefly entertaining himself with flickering his eyelashes onto the skin before him and feeling Hide twitch. “This feels better than reading.”

Hide gasps _loudly_ , lightly shoving him away, “I don’t believe you! You’d marry your books if you could!”

Rolling his eyes, he got up to get the box of tissues nearby, and he can't help laughing at Hide’s shocked face as he sits down next to his best friend.

* * *

 

“It’s cold!” HIde whines, pouting next to him.

“We could get the kotatsu out?” Well, he needs to get a new one someday, but it still works. It’s also more reliable than the heating anyway.

Hide looks thoughtful, before saying, “nah. I have a better idea!”

Suddenly, Hide is closer to him and pulling up his sweater and worming his way under it.  Hide lets out a happy sound near his ear, nuzzling his neck, and arms go around his waist as Hide covers him.

He sighs, his arms coming around to hug Hide, relishing the warmth they’re now sharing.

“My sweater’s going to stretch,” and now he’s the one pouting. _This is one of my favourite sweaters!_

Hide bites his ear, snuggling into him more. “Shhhhh.”

* * *

 

It’s after school, and he’s sure he originally came over to Hide’s place to study― but all that’s been accomplished is Hide driving him crazy with slow and thorough kisses. “Hide,” he moans, squirming under his best friend on his bed, and he tries to put his hands under Hide’s shirt, but they get gently taken away and he groans in frustration.

“So impatient,” Hide teases, intertwining their hands and kissing him softly.

“I want to touch you,” he says against the blond’s mouth, and he lets out another frustrated sound as Hide squeezes his hands.

He feels Hide sigh, “you will, just…“ Hide shifts above him, and he wonders _how_ on Earth Hide expects him to not be frustrated?! “ _Relax_.”

“I’d be more relaxed if I could touch you,” he pouts and kisses Hide slowly, biting at the other’s lip as he parts, happy when Hide moans and follows him.

His best friend shakes his head and _is_   _not kissing him_ , “you will,” and now Hide’s the one who sounds frustrated, “ _eventually_.” Hide lets go of a hand to caress his cheek, and the look on his best friend’s face makes his heart skip a bit. He breathes deeply, and Hide hasn’t stopped _looking_ at him, so he looks down at colourful sheets and progressively feels warmer under Hide’s gaze.

The hand on his cheek goes to cup the back of his head, and his eyes flutter shut as Hide kisses him tenderly.

* * *

 

It’s after school, and he’s sitting near the main door with a book in hands. All his chores are finished for the day, and now he’s just waiting for Hide. He’s read up to a part with a reveal with the maid until he’s jolted out of the story by a “KANEKI!?” Blinking, he looks up to see his best friend, who looks a bit guilty, “you were waiting for me?” He nods, mind still stuck in the story as he puts a bookmark on his page, closing it.

Hide grabs onto the arm closest to him, pulling him up and and clutching onto him as they walk away from school.

“Miss me that much you had to wait for me, huh?” He shrugs absently, and Hide sighs. A hand waves in front of his face and he looks at Hide, “c’mon, you know I can’t talk to you when you’re like this!”

“The maid is _Death_ ,” he reveals in awe, and suddenly they stop walking.

“That’s… um,” _creepy_ , Hide’s face says, “nice.” Hide tugs him along as they continue out of school grounds, “so why is death a maid?”

“An outsider to the manor made a contract that he has to kill the person Death is the maid for and…”

* * *

 

“What are you―“ a kiss, “doing?” And another kiss, but of course Hide doesn’t hear him because he has his music on, and the beat sounds electronic as Hide gives him random kisses over his face. Sighing, he pushes Hide back and digs into the other’s pocket to pause the music.

“Hey! I almost had it!”

“Had _what_?”

Hide waves his hands around, “the _music_! You know?” His best friend pouts, pulling his headphones down.

He can never understand Hide’s relationship with music, as much as he tries sometimes. _You’re weird_. “You’re weird.”

“Says the book nerd,” Hide sticks out his tongue and he rolls in eyes in response, tugging Hide in gently by his headphone cord for a more normal kiss.

* * *

 

Hide pulls him closer by a belt-loop, and he gives his best friend a confused look.

“I can’t believe you would do this to me,” Hide intones seriously, moving his arms to stretch over his shoulders, “my _best friend_.”

“Do what? What on Earth are you talking about?” The look the blond is giving him is concerning.

“My _only_ best friend,” Hide continues with a grave expression.

 _… Acting, maybe?_ “Did you develop an interest in theatre I didn't know about?” Surely Hide has a non-crazy explanation for the sudden seriousness in the middle of… watching TV at Hide’s place. They were going to get food, he’s pretty sure.

Hide’s expression cracks, and the blond chuckles, pulling him into a hug, which he returns happily, if a bit confused. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. _Your face_ ,” Hide laughs more, kissing beneath his ear softly.

He pushes Hide away so he can cross his arms and give Hide an unamused stare.

“S―Sorry,” Hide snickers, not looking sorry at all.

* * *

 

“H― Hide, stop!” Swatting at Hide’s arms, he wriggles, laughter being tickled out of him by fingers at his sides. Weren’t they doing something on Hide’s bed before the blond decided to suddenly put hands under his shirt?

“Nope,” Hide says above him, and somehow the fingers become even more relentless, causing tears to build up behind his closed eyes.

“Hide, p― _please_ ,” he begs between laughter, feeling around Hide’s chest so he can bring his best friend closer, hearing chuckling come out of Hide’s mouth. “ _Hide_.”

“Fine,” the blond huffs, fingers ceasing tickling him to stroke his sides instead. Hide kisses his cheeks as he focuses on getting his breath back, squirming more and feeling a familiar hardness. That’s not his. He gives Hide a confused look, who freezes. “Um―“

“What’s going on in there?” Hide’s father says, and he freezes up too as he turns to stare at Hide’s closed door.

A hand covers his mouth, making him glare at the blond on top of him, “um, just messing around!” Hide says casually, and on the other side of the door, he hears a sigh.

“Just make sure the both of you stay in one piece, then.”

Hide relaxes, “will do! Kaneki in one piece is one of my favourite type of Kanekis!” Hide waggles his eyebrows, and he rolls his eyes as they wait quietly, hearing Hide’s father sigh again before walking away.

Feeling a bit annoyed, he bats away the hand covering his mouth, “what was that for?” He hisses.

The blond shrugs, expression turning solemn, “well, I couldn’t let you scream for help.”

Sighing, he looks at the ceiling, “Hide, you’re not a supervillain keeping me captive.”

He can see Hide pout in his peripheral vision, “but you looked at me so meanly! It made me feel all horrible and like I was a bad person and it _hurt me_ , Kaneki, in my _sou_ ―“

Rolling his eyes again, he leans up and interrupts Hide with a kiss, and he shivers as the hands under his shirt leave to hold his neck. He moans and moves his hands to clutch Hide’s waist so he can grind up. Hide moans, and one of the hands clenches his hair, causing the kiss to become deeper.

Hide breaks the kiss and he groans in disappointment, feeling the blond pout against his lips. “You just want me for my _body_ ,” Hide whines sadly.

He sighs, closes his eyes and counts to ten before answering. “No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do!” The blond sniffs and moves away, putting the back of his hand to his forehead like those girls in those black-and-white English movies do, “so _mean_ , Kaneki!”

Feeling his eyebrow twitch, he pushes Hide off him and stares at the TV pointedly.

The other’s arms go around his neck, and he twitches again as Hide nuzzles his cheek. “Awwwwwww, you aren’t going to have your wicked way with me?!”

* * *

 

Before he knows it, it’s almost time for graduation. He’s not ready for graduation, much less university after??? Sure, there’s a break in between, but _university_.

He’s on the top floor of high school, on his way to the roof when―“what’re you lurking around like a creeper for?” He jumps, turning around to face his best friend and scowling.

“I should be asking you that.” How does Hide even find him? It’s like he has a radar.

Hide comes closer, a thoughtful look on his face. “Looking for my best friend. About yey high―“ he gestures to his height, “is a weirdo who loves horror and probably philosophy books, _very_ cute. Seen him?”

 _Cute?!_ He glares at his best friend before turning away. “Have you tried a morgue?” He says dryly.

“Hmmmm. Maybe next time,” arms come around his waist, and he feels his face go red as Hide hugs him from behind, head resting on a shoulder. He looks around quickly, hoping no one’s here because Hide feels like he should _kiss his neck while they’re in school!_ “We should go get food,” Hide hums, nibbling his ear and he feels even redder even as he tilts his head to accommodate Hide.

“Do you ever think about anything besides food and music?”

At this Hide licks his earlobe and holds him even closer, “we could always do it here since we’re leaving soon.” Between the purr in his voice and the warmth of being surrounded by Hide, he doesn’t register what’s said instantly.

“N-no! Absolutely not!” He shouts, getting out of Hide’s embrace to glare at him.

Hide laughs, putting his arms behind his head as he turns around, walking to the stairs.

“Where’re you going?”

The blond stops, looking at him expectantly, “I was thinking of buying food, then we go to the roof to eat?” Hide shrugs.

He huffs, walking over to Hide. “Fine,” his best friend waggles his eyebrows and he elbows him in response, causing Hide to laugh again.

* * *

 

It’s too quiet in his new apartment. Sure, there’s all these new sounds from the surrounding area (like how a downstairs tenant puts on their washing machine late at night) but he’s still used to the _old_ sounds from when he lived with his aunt. It’s off-putting.

“I’m sorry for making you stay over again,” he says to Hide as they put his best friend’s futon out onto the balcony railing so it can be aired out. Having Hide around helps with the oddness, being a constant in his life.

The blond rolls his eyes and claps his hands, motioning for them to get inside. “Yes, because hanging out with my best friend, alone in his new apartment is so horrible,” Hide finishes the sentence by flicking him above his right ear, then walking over to the kitchen. “Cereal?”

“Sure,” he sighs and then goes to sit on the sofa in the living room, turning on the TV while he waits for Hide. Soon after, Hide walks in with two bowls, giving one to him as the blond sits down next to him. Sighing, he pokes at the food with his spoon, “this is the fourth time this week and―“

“― _And_ you’re still not imposing in on my life, or my families,” Hide cuts in, knocking him with a shoulder.

Pursing his lips, he focuses on eating his breakfast and it’s silent as they eat. Finished with his food, he gets up and Hide follows him to put the bowls in the sink. He sighs, leaning against the counter, “but still, don’t you have other things to do, like that committee―“

This time, he’s cut off with a kiss, and he leans in as hands frame his face, a thumb stroking his cheek. “ _Kaneki_ ,” Hide sounds equal parts frustrated and fond, “I like us having alone time, and I like being around you, and that hasn’t changed over the years.” Hide sighs and the hands on his face make their way down to massage his hands, “now, stop worrying and go and pretty yourself up for the day~”

“Pretty myself up?”

Hide chuckles and rubs their noses together, “well, you’re _always_ pretty, of course~”

Flushing, he pulls away to go and have a shower, half-wishing that Hide would stop complimenting him so sincerely.

* * *

 

It’s a quiet day, and there isn’t much he wants to do, other than wishing for the day to be over already. Hide is running a hand through his hair, and it’s easy to curl onto his best friend’s lap, burrowing into Hide’s stomach.

“Someone’s clingy today,” Hide teases. “And it isn’t me!” He hums in response, mind peacefully blank. The hand in his hair pauses and twirls a few strands and he opens an eye to look up. “Are you sure you don’t want to… ?” _Visit your mother’s grave?_

The concern in Hide’s expression and voice burrow make him into the blond’s stomach. “Not this year,” it’s muffled, and this close he can feel Hide sigh.

“Okay,” Hide starts playing with his hair again, and he can feel Hide move around until he hears the familiar sound of turning pages. Hide’s picked up the book he was half-reading before he arrived. “ _Night Voices, Night Journeys_? This sounds cheerful.”

“You should read it to me,” he suggests.

Hide wriggles underneath him to get more comfortable, and he lets out a more _the things I do for you_ sigh this time. “If you insist. From the beginning?”

He shrugs, his own hands moving to play with the hem of Hide’s shirt, “anywhere’s fine.”

“Alright. But don’t blame me if I get words wrong, or fall asleep.”

* * *

 

He’s laying on bed, reading through his university information pack when he hears his door open and he looks towards his bedroom door expectantly.

“What’s our favourite bookworm reading today?” Hide shouts as he walks in, then precedes to look disappointed at the pamphlets and info sheets. “I was expecting things that gave me nightmares or headaches, not _school_.” Hide sighs and then flops onto him, causing some of the papers to fly. There’s some shuffling until he gets comfortable with laying on his stomach, and his best friend hugging him loosely around his waist, a head resting on his shoulder.

“Hide, you…” he looks at what’s left of his information pack sadly.

The warmth on his side leaves him as Hide looks around and gathers the fallen paper, handing it to him and then returning to his previous position, “sorry,” he doesn’t sound sorry at all.  

Sighing, he goes back to reading, and Hide entertains himself by nibbling on the shell of his ear, as he does.

He’s looking through his schedule when Hide ―“Asian History! I’m in Asian History too!” shouts excitedly into his ear, making him wince.

“Yes, you are,” he says long-sufferingly, because it’s not like they decided together or anything. Hide giggles and hugs him tighter, and his best friend is being entirely too loud for him. He skims through the rest and puts the pile of paper aside, pulling Hide in for a kiss, who freezes in shock before kissing him back, and he moans as desire floods through him, half an idea sliding into his mind.

Hide parts to open his big mouth, “were you turned on by―“ whatever else he says is muffled by his lips, and he focuses on licking into the other’s mouth, and Hide clutches at his arms as he pushes the blond into his bed, a hand trailing down to Hide’s pants, the other cradling Hide’s head.

“Shhh. You’re being too loud,” he whispers before crushing their lips together, and either he’s gotten better at blindly undoing Hide’s pants, or they’re just an easier kind to undo this time and Hide squeaks as they’re pulled down to his knees. He’s about to do the same to the boxers when a hand clutches his wrist. Ending the kiss, he looks at Hide in confusion.

“What…“ Hide looks surprised and a tiny bit ravished at the sudden turn of events.

 _Nothing we haven’t done before,_ he rolls his eyes, “I want to see if you can keep quiet while I suck you off,” he says curiously, because communication is key. Hide would be quiet, and orgasms! Win-win situation.

“I,” Hide swallows and lick his lips, “ _yes_ ,” voice rough and making a shiver go down his spine.

Pecking Hide on the mouth, he pulls down the other’s boxers and tests how quiet Hide can be.

* * *

 

“We should celebrate,” Hide says randomly, eyes still on the detective movie they’re watching. Confused, he looks to Hide, who’s currently on laying top of him.

“Celebrate what?”

The blond moves, crossing his arms and resting his head on his chest to _stare_ at him. “Finishing high school. Getting into uni. Pick one, or don’t.”

“And how should we celebrate? With what money?” He points out, feet nudging Hide’s.

Hide shrugs, “welllll, you can decide, and I can ask my parents!” The bright grin he gets make him smile automatically, and he stops it before it gets too idiotic like a certain someone’s.

“Why do I have to decide?” Pouting, he puts his arms around Hide’s waist.

“Because, Kaneki. _Because_ ,” Hide nods like he imparted some great wisdom.

Sighing, he looks up at the ceiling thoughtfully, nothing really coming to mind. Hide’s right hand starts exploring his neck, touching and pressing curiously and he ignores it, at least until it reaches a spot near his ear, and he lets out a surprised moan. Grabbing the wandering hand, he looks at Hide, who’s staring at him in fascination. “Teppanyaki,” he blurts out, sure that his face is red, and he tries to act like it’s not.

“You suck with teppanyaki,” Hide says helpfully, intertwining their fingers next to his head.

“So do you.” Deny it all he likes, it’s true.

“Pffft. No I don’t! And since you suggested, we should go so I can record you failing,” and now Hide looks gleeful at his idea.

“And if I’m lucky, I can see the egg cracking on your face again,” he agrees.

“... That never happened,” Hide glares at him.

“It did. You misjudged―“

Hide lets go of his hand to cover his ears. “LALALALALALA―“

“―and the egg splattered―”

“―LALALALALALALALALA―”

“―right on your forehead!”

“LIES! AND SLANDER!” Hide shouts, pointing at him and he laughs.

“How did you even do that, there was no way it shouldn’t have ended up like that!”

“Because it never. _Happened_. You promised,” and now Hide has a betrayed expression which tugs at his heart a bit, “to never speak of it again.”

“It was funny.”

Hide grumbles, shifting above him so he can stare down at him, hands either side of his head. In a _very_ mature way, Hide sticks out his tongue before going to his neck, biting _that_ spot near his ear, and he lets out a choked sound, desire flashing through him and now there’s _licking_ as well. Hide stops when his hands clutch at the other’s waist. “How’s _that_ for funny?” Hide gives him a mischievous smirk, starting to climb off him, but he pulls Hide back in.

* * *

 

Staring at Hide’s message, he makes his way inside Hide’s apartment, “why do you want me to meet you in the bathr―“ _oom_ , he stops as he looks up, rubs his eyes and then looks again. How exactly is he supposed to react when Hide’s naked in the filled bathtub? And it smells oddly floral, too. He exhales, walking over to sit next to the bath, resting his arms on the edge.

Hide grins, flicking water into his face. “You should join me,” the blond says smugly, and he wrinkles his nose as Hide’s wet index finger pokes his nose. “You know you want to~” Hide sing-songs.

Whacking the finger away, he turns around to face the door, “what about your parentS?” A wet arm starts sliding around his shoulder, which he swats away as he turns around to glare at Hide.

“Out. For the whole _night_. I think it’s some kind of ‘rekindling’ thing,” Hide waves his hands around, “and you _could_ ask me why I did all this, sure, or you could ask me that after you’ve gotten in,” the blond smiles, clearly pleased with himself and he sighs.

Rolling his eyes, he stands up to strip his clothes off, ignoring Hide’s growing smile as he folds his clothes and puts them next to haphazardly thrown clothes on the floor. “Why does it smell like flowers?” He asks as he gets in, unsure where to put himself in the tub, so he just sits on the other side of the tub, facing Hide.

“Some kind of bath thing I found in the cabinet. I like it,” Hide shrugs and reaches for him, placing hands on his hips and motioning for him to turn around, which he does. Hide moves his arms around his waist and pulls him down so he’s on top of the blond, and he stares at the ceiling in confusion, feeling a nose nuzzle the right side of his neck.

He moves his arms to the edge of the tub, twisting slightly so he can see Hide’s blond hair, “okay, _why_?”

Hide shrugs again, peppering his neck with kisses, “no reason, really,” the arms around his waist tighten, and he gulps as Hide lightly nibbles up to his ear, “it just came into my head and I thought it’d be fun,” Hide hums.

“O―Oh.” Is the water suddenly hotter, or is it just him? He shifts slightly, freezing when Hide lets out a sound, arms tightening around him more. “Um…“ he flails a bit before putting his hands on the arms encircling his waist, and he knew he should’ve expected something like this, but he hasn’t been thinking straight since he walked in. Or something like that.

Hands caress his sides as Hide’s lips trail down to his shoulder, “can I?” Hide asks, voice quiet and serious.

He can feel his steadily rising blush all the way to his ears now, and he licks his lips, feeling caught off-guard as he faces Hide, their lips brushing, “yes.”

Hide begins to kiss him softly, and he gasps into the other’s mouth as a hand moves to surround his cock, stroking it to hardness. Moaning, he turns over slightly so they can kiss easier, as well as clutching the other’s shoulder with a hand. Hide’s free hand trails it’s way up to his face, holding and stroking his cheek.

The kiss ends, making him groan in disappointment, which is short-lived as pleasure surges as a hand strokes his cock. “ _H―Hide_ ,” he gasps, and oddly enough he notices how strong the floral scent is, making him feel more heady as the hand on his cheek shifts him so he’s turned back.

“Good?” Hide’s voice is intense, and he nods hastily, arching as fingers brush against his nipples.

His mind might as well be swimming in the water surrounding them, whimpering under Hide’s adept hands. Orgasm close, he searches for something to hold onto, eventually clutching onto the arm on his chest with one hand, his left hand reaching behind him, feeling the back of Hide’s neck.

With a whimper, his orgasm rushes out of him, and he stares at the plain ceiling as he comes down, feeling one of Hide’s hands playing with his hair, the other hand resting around his waist. There’s a feeling of floating, which he supposes is from the water. It definitely feels cooler than when he first hopped in, and he considers submerging his head to cool down.

Blinking, he glances at Hide, then looks at the ceiling, licking his lips. “Is this all you brought me over for?”

Hide giggles and kisses the shell of his ear, “nope, but it’s a perfect way to start!” He sinks down and hides his face the blond’s neck. “I got this cool new game, too!”

* * *

 

Frowning, he stares at Hide’s face, which has a bit of sauce near his mouth. Sure, they’re out having lunch with Hide’s friends, but that’s no excuse to be so messy. He sighs and leans into Hide, clearing the sauce off with his thumb. Hide’s expression is full of surprise and confusion, “you had sauce,” he explains, shrugging a little.

His best friend smiles and throws an arm around him, and now he becomes the confused one as Hide’s other hand plays with his hair, “only one of us is allowed to have messy hair,” Hide declares.

Rolling his eyes, he leans into Hide’s hand, “I’ll make sure to tell the wind that.”

Hide lets out a pleased sound, “good.” The arm around him secures itself around him, and he finds himself drifting a bit as he nuzzles into the other’s arm. And the hand in his hair is so nice too… “Hey!” Hide’s voice makes him jump, and he blinks, feeling fingers leave his hair to poke his nose, “food that good, huh?”

He ducks his head at Hide’s fond look and brings a hand out to fidget with the hem of the other’s shirt, the other one going to scratch his chin, “I guess.” It’s not his fault, it was Hide’s, with his soft hands and warm, distracting presence. “Maybe we should…“ he trails off as he looks up, staring at the now empty chairs that Hide’s friends sat in, “your friends left.”

“I wonder why,” Hide hums, putting his other arm around him, making them look at each other.

Feeling his face start to blush, he ducks out of Hide’s hold, “we should go pay,” he mumbles and starts to walk, but gets stopped by something catching on a belt-loop. Sighing, he turns around to face Hide, putting his hands on the blond’s upper arms as he’s brought closer. “What?”

“We should go get dessert!” Hide smiles.

 _Knowing Hide…_ “Is that an innuendo?”

Hide’s expression becomes contemplative, “I don’t know.”

* * *

 

Opening the door to Hide’s place, he stares down at the huge amount of shoes near the doorway. Eventually finding the shoes he uses he switches them, making his way inside. The apartment seems crowded with all the people, and how does Hide even know so many people? Looking around, he finds someone he’s familiar with and makes his way over to him, since he can’t see his best friend. “Hey. Where’s Hide?”

The guy ― a name that starts with a T, maybe? ― laughs and points to Hide’s room, “in there, looking at his spoils, I think.”

He nods and says his thanks, holding his birthday present for Hide behind his back as he slips through the party, knocking on Hide’s door before going in, closing it behind him. His best friend is looking contemplatively at the presents strewn on his bed, and he smiles at the sight, heart feeling warm. “Happy birthday, Hide!”

Hide jumps, turning around to face him, bright grin on his face. “Kaneki!!!!!” The blond all but shouts as he’s pulled into a hug, complete with twirling.

Breaking away, he offers his glaringly yellow-wrapped present, “for you.” It seems kind of obvious that there are CDs under the wrapping paper, but Hide seems fascinated anyway. Well, there’s also a small book on astronomy too, since it’s one of HIde’s newest obsessions.

The blond _ooooooooh_ ’s, taking it from him carefully. “Can I open it now!?” He nods, and he begins to feel nervous as his best friend tears open the paper. Paper cast aside, Hide smiles radiantly as he looks at the CDs and book. “They’re awesome, thank you!!” Hide carefully puts his present on the bed before bouncing over and hugging him again.

Returning the hug, he sighs into Hide’s shoulder. “You didn’t already get those, did you…“ he mumbles, and Hide’s arms tighten around his waist.

“Nope!” He can feel Hide’s nose rub against his ear, and then a light kiss, causing him to relax. “ _So_ ,” Hide’s tone is light and teasing, “do I get _another_ present from my bestest best friend?” The hands around his waist drift down to fiddle with the hem of his shirt, making his face turn red.

“If you behave,” he says into Hide’s shirt, and he can feel his become even redder as the other’s hands palm his ass.

Hide kisses his ear softly, and he can feel Hide’s grin, “ _oooooooh_ , if I _behave_ ~” The blond giggles and presses even closer to him, swaying them slightly.

Sure that the roots of his hair are starting to turn red, he pulls away and glances at the closed door nervously. “After everyone’s gone,” he says quietly,

Arms stretch around his shoulders, bringing him face-to-face with Hide, who tilts his head, “you’re staying over?” Their noses brush and he smiles as Hide kisses near his mouth.

He wasn’t really sure when he decided to stay over, but it seems preferable to going back to his lonely apartment. “Sure.” Hide bounces and then kisses him, making him shiver and his hands move to fret with the hem of the other’s shirt. The slowly deepening kiss makes him feel tingly, and he pulls away as he remembers the people on the other side of the door. “Um, do you have that chocolate I like?” He asks, staring at the blond’s shoes.

“Of course.” Hide sounds confused and sad as he opens the door, and he wills his heart to calm down as he goes through the crowd.

* * *

 

“So that’s where that shirt went,” he muses, staring at Hide’s chest, which is covered in his shirt. Hide flicks him on the forehead and he moves back, allowing his best friend to come inside.

“And what do you call _this_?” Hide tugs him closer by his pants belt-loops, and he’s confused, looking down. Oh. _Hide_ ’s pants. He was wondering when he brought such a bright blue pair.

Shrugging, he smiles and puts his arms around Hide’s shoulders, feeling the other’s hands settle on the small of his back. “They’re comfy,” their noses brush, “and we’ve also had a lot of our clothes mixed over the years?” _… Why did I point out his shirt then?_ Thinking it over, it’s probably because Hide looks so nice in it.

Hide purses his lips and pulls him closer, “even so,” he licks his lips at the Hide’s tone of voice, shivering slightly as one of Hide’s hands makes its way to cup his face, “do you have to look so _good_ in them?”

He rolls his eyes and welcomes the kiss, moaning as it becomes deeper. Somehow he manages to take an arm off of Hide to feel around for the still-open door, shutting it and gently pressing Hide against it.

* * *

 

Out of the things he expected when going into Hide’s room, being pinned against the wall by the excited blond wasn’t one of them. Not so soon, anyway. “I got a job!” Hide gives him a toothy grin before moving forward, kissing him in celebration. He moans into the kiss, throwing his arms around Hide’s shoulders.

His head lightly hits the wall as he ends the kiss. “Congratulations?” He knew Hide was job-hunting, but the fact that he got one so quickly… isn’t really that surprising, now that he thinks about it.

Hide continues to smile brightly, and the blond’s hands wandering down to tug his shirt makes him gasp. “I’m taking _you_ out tonight,” the blond waggles his eyebrows,hands drifting down to open his fly. “To dinner,” his best friend clarifies, and he finds himself giggling as Hide bites at his neck playfully.

“Y―You haven’t even gotten your first paych―” Hide licks at a certain spot beneath his ear, and between the making out and infectious enthusiasm, his thoughts are blurry and not really that useful. His pants are pulled down, and he hates his shoes for the fact that he has to undo them to take his pants off.

The wall feels cold behind him, and Hide warm in front of him, and he bucks forward as a hand starts to caress his cock. “Shut up and let me spoil you,” Hide’s voice is affectionate, causing him to hide his face in the blond’s neck.

He licks at the other’s neck, wishing he could put his legs around Hide , but Hide presses closer to him, which is enough. Hide moans into his ear as he bites down, mind sparking as his cock is stroked to hardness. Nipping at the blond’s neck, he pulls down the other’s shirt so he can get to collarbones. The grip on his cock feels sticky from his pre-come, and his mind is staticky from the pleasure, from the way Hide surrounds him.

His orgams comes swiftly, making him feel out of it as Hide gently lifts him into a bridal carry. The blond hums a happy tune as he walks over to the bed, putting him on it. Taking a deep breath, he sits up to remove his shoes as Hide strokes his hair, before hopping up to get the tissues.

Cleaning himself up, he sighs again as Hide sits next to him. Is Hide _sparkling_? “I should be paying for dinner,” he says eventually.

“Nope!” Hide shoves him, tone brokering no argument as the blond leans over to kiss him.

“I should,” he mutters into the other’s mouth.

* * *

 

“Sorry, I have to go,” Hide looks up from his phone guiltily, and he frowns. They just got together to have coffee and he’s already leaving? “I know,” Hide sighs, getting his stuff together and standing up.

“Now?” His frown deepens, following Hide with his eyes as his best friend comes over to his side of the table. He hasn’t seen a lot of Hide this week, and it’s making him irritable.

“Yeah,” Hide sounds apologetic, leaning down to hug him from behind, and he squeezes Hide’s arms. Hide rests his head on his shoulder, and he didn’t realise how tense he was until he relaxes into the hug. “I’ll miss you?” He says quietly, lightly nudging his ear. “There’s also this wonderful thing you can do, where you _text me back_.” At this, Hide laughs and he can’t help the red heat spreading over his face at the feeling of Hide’s lips grazing his ear.

All too soon, Hide lets go of him and he clasps Hide’s hands, making his best friend sigh and squeeze his hands in return, before slipping out of his grasp.

Sighing, he fold his arms on the table, resting his head on top. Usually when Hide hugs him like that there’s more kissing, and shouldn’t he be more embarrassed about this? Which was really… nothing.

He imagines Hide kissing him in this coffee shop, just a little goodbye kiss, and he smiles into his arms, warm with feeling.

* * *

 

The TV is on, but he’s considering just heading in for the night because nothing is catching is interest (and he might be procrastinating a bit when it comes to uni work. He’s allowed to!), when someone knocks on his door. Getting up, he opens it to see his best friend.

Who’s pursing his lips, expression tense and tugging the sleeves of his jacket, and now he’s _worried_. The lack of anything resembling hugging or even _speaking_ ratcheting it even higher. “Hide? Is something wrong? Hid―“

Hide cups his face, kissing him desperately and roughly, teeth gnashing at first, and this isn’t make him any less worried. Especially when Hide pushes him inside, almost tripping as he starts walking backwards and he hears the door slam shut.

Forcing his eyes open, he sees the room spin and move as Hide forces him against the wall near his bedroom door, crowding him and he lets out a pained moan as the breath is knocked out of him. “Hide,” he whimpers, holding onto the other’s shoulders.

Hide lets up, giving him space to breathe. The next kiss feels like an apology, soft but still _wanting_ and he interlaces his hands behind Hide’s neck as he falls into the kiss. Hide stops it to take off his shirt, and he takes off Hide’s jacket and shirt in return, the worry in the back of his mind spreading because Hide feels too wound up, even with the soft kisses they’re now sharing. Hide presses flush against him, hands trailing down from his neck to his hips, and he moans as the blond deepens the kiss.

Then Hide is pulling him into the bedroom and onto his bed, and something about all of this makes his breath stutter. Everything feels overwhelmingly intimate and hot, his mind clouding with a bone-deep pleasure and the moan he lets out sounds like a firecracker when his pants and underwear are removed, a hand circling his cock.

He grinds up, finding it hard to care about the rough way he’s clawing at the other’s back as Hide bites down his neck, and the hand stroking his cock intensely makes him curl his legs around Hide’s waist. They’re so close, but not _close enough_ , and he can hear himself moan beneath the blood rushing through his veins. Hide presses him deeper into the bed and takes his mouth into a fervent and messy kiss.

The only thing he can hear now is their breathing, moans muffled and there’s a vague thought of reciprocation floating in his head. He manages to drag a hand to Hide’s pants, and there’s a popping sound as he fits his hand around the other’s cock. Hide stills, but then starts biting at his mouth and his hand on Hide’s back moves to his neck, controlling the angle.

It gets a bit blurry as they get each other off, and he’s sure he’s rough with Hide as he comes, but he follows soon after. Hide nuzzles into his neck as they breathe. He feels disoriented. And tired. And he can feel the scratches on Hide’s back from him, making him even warmer with embarrassment.

Hide moves off him, and he’s sleepier than he thought because he only catches Hide’s arm lightly, making a disappointed noise. Hide’s so warm, and now he feels cold. Hide clasps his hand, a thumb massaging it lightly and he focuses on the point of warmth, dropping off to sleep before he knows it.


	2. II

Waking up, he has a memory of hands in his hair. Moonlight shines through his bedroom brightly and he squints his eyes, curling underneath the covers. _Maybe that was just a very vivid dream..._

… Except that he’s naked. And now more awake, he feels a bit sore. And something’s… _off_. Hide usually stays, so he wraps his sheets around him as he gets up, yawning as he looks around his apartment.

Pajamas in the laundry basket, he’s been cleaned off, and with Hide’s clothes nowhere to be found. Unless you count a button that ended up on the floor of his room.

No sign of Hide. At all.

Frowning and worried, he gets his phone, and sends a quick You ok? to his best friend and puts it on his bedside table. He curls up on his bed, worry becoming a pit in his stomach as he waits for what feels like an hour for a reply, but what was probably ten minutes.

_yeah_

_sorry_

_that i worried you also i didn’t mean to_

HIs anxiety lessens a bit, and he somehow manages to fall into a very cold sleep, still feeling off-kilter.

* * *

 

Hide is tactile by nature. It’s one of the first things he learned after they became friends, and after all this time he expects it. Welcomes it.

And yet…

There’s suddenly no more hugs from behind.

No random kisses.

There’s even no pulling him around by his waist.

Nothing.

Okay, he’s still as touchy-feely as ever, there’s still hugs and a lack of personal space, but there’s nothing _more_. It’s confusing, and a few times he tries to kiss him, but all he sees is _no_ and so he doesn’t.

It’s weird. He didn’t ever really see the whole “with benefits” thing ending, but it has and he feels a bit lost and incomplete, even when they hang out.

It feels like trying to unlearn a language that has become second nature. Just because they don’t kiss anymore doesn’t mean he still wants to. And he does. A lot. And more.

And there’s a high chance that he’s feeling weirder because he hasn’t done anything sexual ever since the last time, but the thought of trying to touch himself and Hide not be there is alien, even if he did it before just fine.

Logically, he gets why it ended. Things like that end all the time, and it didn’t mean anything in the first place.

He wonders when _it didn’t mean anything_ will stop making him feel hurt and confused. Couldn’t Hide at least _tell him_ he didn’t want to do it anymore?!

And to top off the emotional turmoil, Hide starts pointing out people to him ― potential boyfriends/girlfriends ― like he’s _looking_ for something like that.

Outwardly, he nods and agrees and they talk and joke like best friends do. Inwardly, he wonders _why wasn’t I enough?_

He’s also very jealous. That too. And it only hits him a month after, as he’s walking home.

Oddly, the realization that he’s jealous calms him down. Then he’s also immensely glad that he didn’t actually do anything stupid, like scream at Hide.

As soon as he gets home he falls onto the couch, guilt fills him. He may not of done anything terrible, but he still _feels_ like a terrible friend. He should be _happy_ that Hide’s looking for someone! Instead he’s like a…

 _Jealous girlfriend_ comes to mind and he groans.

* * *

 

He likes Hide’s choice for tonight’s movie ― suspense ― but his eyes keep going back to his best friend, or more specifically, his neck. Why can’t he reach out and―

―And he _clearly_ needs to put his twitching hands into his hoodie pockets and focus on the movie.

Which he manages until Hide’s phone chimes, causing him look at the blond. By the light, he can tell that Hide is smiling down at his phone, and this little thing makes him want to kiss those lips a staggering amount. Taking a deep breath, he looks up at the ceiling.

_It’s been months. Shouldn’t these type of feelings have passed by now?_

* * *

 

“Kaneki, this is Hinata, my… girlfriend.” Hide finishes sheepishly. Emotions twist inside him as he looks at the pretty dark-haired girl next to his best friend. He never imagined Hide’s big news would be _this_. Hinata ― Hide’s _girlfriend_ ― kisses her _boyfriend_ ’s cheek before smiling at him, and all he can do is nod, lungs filled with a bitter jealousy.

Hide’s giving him a concerned look, and he takes a deep breath, plastering on a brittle smile, “congratulations!” Is that what he’s meant to say? What, he wanted to make a big, surprising announcement?! And okay, that does sound like Hide, but some _warning_ would be nice.

They sit across from him, and he feels oddly weightless as they smile at each other, before Hide looks at him and smiles. Hinata leans into Hide, and he leans into her and _that should be me!_ His tongue hurts from biting into it, and his hands are clenched tightly on his legs. _He_ ’s the one who _lo―_

 _―I’m a fucking idiot_ , he realises, and he’s faintly aware that he makes an excuse as he leaves (“... leave the two of you alone…”). His phone chimes on his way home with messages.

_i didn’t mean to shock you?_

_she’s awesome, isn’t she? :)_

Opening the door to his apartment, he shuts it, sliding down the door because _he’s in love with his best friend._

It was so obvious that he just looked away.

 _I’m in love with my best friend,_ he repeats mentally, _I’m in love with Nagachika Hideyoshi_ , he repeats once more.

His best friend who just introduced him to his girlfriend, unknowingly breaking _his_ heart. Because he has horrible timing for these sorts of things.

* * *

 

“OI!! KANEKI!!!” Hide pounds on his door, jarring him from his book, so he sighs and puts a bookmark in and walks to open his door. “You weren’t answering my texts,” Hide whines, puffing his cheeks out, and he’s a bit confused since he also seems concerned.

He furrows his eyebrows, “I was reading?”

Hide sighs, expression shifting to unimpressed and crossing his arms, “movie, remember?”

 _Oh._ “Oh. I guess I forgot… ?” He lets Hide inside, closing the door. “Sorry?” He looks down at his pajamas, and goes to get changed, hearing the TV turn on.

“You’re also paying for the tickets!” Hide shouts, so he finds his wallet near his uni bag and grabs it. All ready, he leaves his room and HIde gives him an expectant look, “ready?” Hide turns off the TV, and they leave his apartment. Hide walks in front of him, hands behind his head and his heart skips a beat.

“Sure you don’t want to go with Hinata instead?” He jokes, and he almost walks into Hide, who’s stopped to turn around and look at him intently.

Hands clutch his shoulders, and now Hide’s closer to stare at him, causing him to tense. He feels slightly scared under Hide’s soul-searching look, especially since they’re now almost touching foreheads and he needs to not think about leaning in for a kiss. Which he isn’t. “You do know that just because I have a girlfriend now, doesn’t mean I don’t want to stop hanging out with you?” The seriousness in Hide’s voice almost distracts him from how he can feel the other’s breath, and this isn’t really helping his self-control.

“I… uh, yeah. Of course,” Hide stares at him a bit more, then nods and leaves an arm on his shoulder, and he puts an arm around Hide’s waist, and he’s slightly confused, because what brought that on? “Any particular reason why you said that?”

Hide shrugs and squeezes his shoulder, “just wanted to reassure you, is all.”

* * *

 

He watches as Hide stares down at the sidewalk, and he bites his lip in worry. Hide may be acting normal, but little things have shown up over the past week to show that something’s off. “Hide,” his best friend jerks his head up and looks at him, “is something wrong?”

They stop walking, and he bumps Hide’s shoulder. “It…“ Hide’s expression changes too quickly for him to catch anything, and the blond sighs, “we broke up.” He blinks at Hide, not quite getting it, “me and Hinata,” Hide gives him a small smile.

 _Oh._ “I’m sorry?” He offers, and he reaches out to grab Hide’s hands, “is there anything I can do?”

Hide looks down at their joined hands, expression changing oddly before taking his hands away to put them behind his head. The blond grins, “well, my _awesome_ best friend could get me some ice cream if they want,” he says cheerfully, turning away to continue walking.

He sighs and catches up to Hide, putting his hands in his pockets so he doesn’t latch onto the blond’s arm, “okay.”

“Seriously?!” Hide looks delighted, and he smiles.

“You’re not going to get like six different flavours though,” he says.

Hide sighs and throws an arm around his shoulder, “you may have just _crushed_ my dreams,” he pauses, looking pained, “but you’re still the best.” Hide nods like he’s reassuring himself.

He rolls his eyes and folds his arms, getting comfortable by Hide’s side as they walk.

* * *

 

At Anteiku, there’s this woman. She’s elegant and pretty, and she reads Takatsuki Sen. He wants to talk to her, but she’s kind of intimidating, and he doesn’t know how to start talking to people without Hide there, so he just subtly watches her when she comes in.

He feels like if he focuses on her, he could start to fall out of love with Hide ― but also that he might just move his emotions to another unattainable person.

Mainly, he just wants to talk to another person about his favourite author. Hide tries, but he just doesn’t get passionate about Takatsuki’s works like he does.

And, well… he’s distracting himself with this, since Hide seems to have gotten over the break-up. Thinking of the way that purple hair flows as she walks to her seat is much nicer than thinking about how Hide’s been spending less time with him.

He should probably brace himself for a surprise announcement.

* * *

 

The most surprising thing was that Hide actually told him that he got a boyfriend _before_ they first meet. Considering his first reaction to Hide’s former girlfriend…

And eventually comes the day where he meets Hide’s new partner at a cozy cafe. His first impression of Hide’s boyfriend is that _Hide has a type_ , and he bites his tongue so he doesn’t burst out laughing. Incredulity wells within him, but he easily keeps a polite facade as he’s introduced. Hide’s boyfriend has black hair and green eyes and he has to stop the hope building since it’s pretty obvious his best friend doesn’t want _him_ anymore.

He tries to retain Hide’s boyfriend’s name or _any details about him_ and fails horribly. It’s possible that Hide just has a type. That being black hair and light eyes. Which is also him, but that’s just… It means nothing. It’s coincidence.

Hide certainly isn’t pining for him or any other fantasies that his mind makes up. _I’m looking into things that aren’t there. Aren’t I?_

* * *

 

 _Shun_ is Hide’s boyfriend’s name. Which he learns since the blond hasn’t stopped talking about him. All. Day. The only respite he had was when they went to a bookstore. “―and then he went ‘ _Hide, you can’t_ ―“

Sighing, he looks down and uses his highly-refined skill of tuning out his best friend, poking at the sushi on his plate with his chopsticks. And here he was thinking [kaiten-zushi](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conveyor_belt_sushi) would at least make Hide too preoccupied to talk. He looks over at Hide’s plate, and on a whim takes the sashimi there to eat instead.

Hide gasps and points at him accusingly.

Smiling innocently, he finishes off the sashimi and shrugs. “You weren’t eating it, and look,” he points with his chopsticks to the conveyor belt, “there’s more there.”

The blond gasps in an offended manner, “but that was _mine_!” Hide sniffs and then looks contemplative at the conveyor belt. “You owe me cake now,” Hide nods, indicating to the touch screen in front of them.

He scowls, “it doesn’t work like that!”

“Yes it does!”

“Since when?”

* * *

 

Sure, thinking of Hide with someone else hurt, but he can deal with it. And soon, Hide’s boyfriend starts to… fade. Not in a supernatural way, but there’s less Hide-and-his-boyfriend-time and Hide mentioning him.

On a quiet day Hide announces that they broke up. Which is why they’re cuddling in his living room, watching one of Hide’s favourite English movies. Well, _he_ is. The blond’s breathing is even and he snuggles closer, throwing an arm over his sleeping friend.

He nuzzles into Hide’s shoulder, heart skipping a beat as affection wells within him. Hide’s warmth and scent feels like home and he drifts off until a part of his mind urges him to talk. He bites his tongue and tilts his head up, staring at his best friend’s peaceful expression.

“Hide?” He says quietly, opening and then closing his mouth. He frowns, _what do I say? I don’t know._

Sighing, he closes his eyes, lulled by the sound of the movie and the other’s steady breathing. Hide’s arm shifts near him until it’s around his shoulders, other arm also coming around to pull him close. He smiles and his heart flutters at Hide’s unintelligible mumbling, soon feeling soft breaths on the top of his head.

* * *

 

There’s this itch in the back of his head, persistent around Hide, urging him to… _to…_

_… Confess?_

Which he _can’t_. Hide would still be friends with him if he… he knows that, but being rejected by Hide would be terrifying. He should just repress this urge and not think about this. At all. He should think about that pretty girl from Anteiku, and how he’d like to talk to her about the themes and characters in Takatsuki’s novels, and how moving on is the less scary idea.

He paces his living room, restless and anxious, school work abandoned on the table. They’re both scary ideas and there’s something within him pushing to _choose_. Huffing, he goes to grab a coin. Chance isn’t a thing he uses often, but if it’ll stop this indecision he’s willing to try.

Tails, he confesses… Somehow.

Heads, he moves on from Hide. They meet up at Anteiku and he _moves on_ , thinking about that lady at Anteiku, and how he’d like to connect to her, to find out what other books she likes instead of pining over his best friend.

He takes a deep breath before flicking it into the air.

It lands on the table and he scrunches his eyes shut, taking another deep breath before looking at the coin.

_Tails._

* * *

 

So he just has to… confess, somehow. Shouting it from the rooftops, like a part of wants him to, doesn’t seem like a good idea. Maybe just awkwardly confessing to Hide in person will do the trick. It’s not like he has to make a romantic dinner, there could always be those _after_. If this doesn’t fuck up their relationship completely.

Gulping, he flicks his eyes over to Hide next to him before looking at the TV. He scrapes at the skin on his hands nervously and focuses on breathing deeply, blood feeling cold and _this is a terrible idea ― I shouldn’t, he’ll hate me, he’ll stop being my friend!_

“Kaneki?” He starts at the blond’s concerned voice and he glances over to see Hide’s worried expression.

“I―“ I? _I love you? Straight out like that?_ He recoils at the thought, fidgeting with his hands more and now he’s making Hide even more worried and why can’t this be easier?! Biting his lips, he takes a deep breath and he, probably very unwisely, moves so he’s sitting in Hide’s lap, settling on crossed legs. A hand comes up to massage circles on his back and he slowly relaxes, putting his arms around Hide’s shoulders as he buries his his face in the other’s warm shoulder.

“Kaneki? Talk to me,” Hide says, voice soft with worry and Hide’s so _good_ that he feels like crying sometimes. _I don’t want to lose this._ Feeling a bit calmer, he focuses on Hide’s comforting presence as he tries to think of _something_ that’s not an all-out confession because there has to be a way he can get across what he means. Like when Hide first kissed him he said ― _doesn’t have to mean or change anything_ and―

Pulling away, he stares at the sofa near Hide’s shoulders, making Hide’s face blurry. “What if I want it to mean something?” He says it before he can overthink it, and he’s surprised with how determined his voice is.

The hands on his back stop, leaving to settle on his hips. “... Is this is a joke?” Hide’s tone is delicate, and the way it’s said ―like he expects for there to be laugh track or hidden cameras somewhere― makes his heart twist.

“ _No!_ ” He answers vehemently, looking directly at Hide. His best friend looks shocked, opening and closing his mouth before beaming.

“Is this a dream, then?” Scowling, he pinches Hide’s side, causing the blond to let out a tiny _ow_ and he lightly taps the other’s shoulder as he returns his arm around Hide’s shoulders. “Really? Like…” the hands on his hips leave to make some gesture he can’t see and he smiles.

“Like… boyfriends?” He licks his lips, keeping his eyes on Hide’s shoulder as the other’s arms encircle his waist loosely. _My best friend also boyfriend, Nagachika Hideyoshi_ he thinks and his heart skips.

“Um. I. _Really_?” Hide sounds both confused and amazed. He looks over to find that Hide looks a lot like how he sounds, with some disbelief added in.

Sighing, he shifts his arms to hold onto Hide’s shoulders and moves back so he can stare at his best friend’s face better. And okay, so his heart is beating double-time and there’s a chance he’ll be rejected, but he feels certain of what to say next. “Hide, will you be my boyfriend?”

Hide’s mouth drops open, eyes going wide. The blond imitates a goldfish for a few moments, mouthing a _what_ before his eyes go even wider as he closes his mouth. “... _Yes_?” He frowns a bit, since it sounds like Hide’s expecting to choose the wrong answer for a test.

“Yes?” He parrots, wanting to make sure that it’s Hide’s answer.

The blond tenses and gulps. He braces himself, for Hide to go _hahah, no, I was the one joking!_ “Yes,” Hide says instead, more confidently this time, even nodding slightly. The arms around him begin to tighten, pulling him closer and he smiles into Hide’s shoulder as they hug each other tightly. “Okay,” Hide says after a few moments, voice weird. Concerned, he moves away to stare at Hide’s… wet eyes.

“ _Hide_ ,” he frets as tears start to come out of Hide’s eyes and he moves to wipe some of them away. _Did I cause this?_ “Should I ge―“

Hide’s arms hug him tighter, and the blond shakes his head and nuzzles into his hands. “No, no. They’re good tears,” the blond reassures, smiling at him. His heart skips a few more beats and he lets out a small relieved sigh, focusing on wiping away his best friend’s ― _boyfriend_ ’s ― tears.

He bites his lips before moving to peck Hide’s cheek and the blond makes a sound. He kisses Hide again, closer to the other’s mouth and his heart flutters, eyes feeling hot. “I’m going to cry now,” he accuses, voice thick as he shuts his eyes. His _boyfriend_ laughs, making him smile. The arms around his waist move up to his shoulders, then to hold his face.

Pouting, he opens his eyes to see Hide looking at him with affection. His hands drift until they find the front of Hide’s shirt, and their foreheads brush as they stare at each other. Hide’s thumbs stroke his cheeks gently as the blond moves forward to kiss him near his mouth, and then the tears start to fall.

* * *

 

Not much changes after they get together. The whole _Hide is my boyfriend now_ thing still amazes him sometimes, and he can tell that Hide’s also the same. Something pokes his nose, bringing him out of his thoughts and he looks around at the cafe before looking next to him.

Hide smiles and pokes him on the shoulder. “Ready to go?”

“Ah, yeah.” They stand up, and he beams as Hide tugs him closer by his belt-loops. He puts his arms around Hide’s shoulders and it seems natural to move forward to kiss the surprised look off his boyfriend’s face. Hide ducks his head and his lips brush against blond hair. Hide scratches the back of his head, “there are people here,” Hide’s voice is soft and embarrassed.

He frowns, thinking that it’s only part of the truth. Hide takes his hand and goes to pay for their food as they leave. As they walk to Hide’s place, his boyfriend tells him stories of things that happened in a committee he’s in, which he half pays attention to.

They’ve been _official_ for a week now, and they haven’t really kissed properly yet. Kissing _now_ would be different from kissing back then, anyway. Something special? But all his time with Hide ever since they got together feels special.

After some time, they make it to Hide’s place and once they’re inside, he gently pushes his boyfriend against the door. Hide has that surprised expression again and he clenches onto the bottom of Hide’s shirt as he leans in for a kiss. “Ka-neki―“ Hide chokes out and he pulls back because Hide looks so _scared_.

“What did I do?” He winces at how petulant he sounds, but he can’t help but feel a little hurt.

“It’s not you! It’s never you!” Hide objects, hands moving to massage his his arms, and he worries at the hems of the blond’s shirt as the hands settle on his shoulders. Hide looks conflicted for a moment before sighing, “it’s just… the last time we…“ he nods, remembering, “I hurt you,” the blond’s voice is ashamed.

He relaxes, smiling at his boyfriend as he moves to clutch the other’s hands, intertwining them. He bites his tongue, because _that’s all?_ wouldn’t help Hide feel better. “If I asked you to stop then, would you?”

“Yes!!” Hide states. He gives a little nod, rubbing the blond’s hands as he moves closer.

“And did I tell you to stop?” He’s close to Hide’s face now, and that light, bubbly feeling can’t make him stop smiling.

“Well, no― _but still―I’m sorry!_ ” the blond’s voice is high and close, and he can feel the other’s breath.

“I didn’t mind,” he says quietly, lips brushing.

He can feel Hide start to tense, soon relaxing a little as he continues to caress the other’s hands. “... Wait. Does this mean you like it rough?” His boyfriend jokes.

Shrugging, he can feel his face turn red as he presses his lips against Hide’s, who tenses up again. Slowly, the blond begins to relax, letting go of his hands to put them around his shoulders. He lets out a happy sound and then ends the chaste kiss.

“See? It’s fine,” he can feel Hide smile against his mouth, and one of the hands on his shoulders move to grab onto his hair.

Hide huffs. “So, _do_ you like it rough then?”

He shrugs again, putting his hands on Hide’s waist as he goes in for another kiss.

* * *

 

Dragging his eyes away from the words in front of him, he looks up to see Hide focused on his DS. Probably a detective game, since that’s one of his latest obsessions. Stretching his limbs, then curls his legs up, moving so he can nuzzle his boyfriend’s stomach. Feeling around the sofa, he comes across the bookmark, putting it on the page.

“Hide?”

He picks at the hem of Hide’s shirt, feeling the blond let out a questioning sound.

“Well…” he trails off, peeking up to look at Hide’s face. He thought Hide would start to do it _before_ , but now that they’re together and Hide still doesn’t, means he has to ask. “You can call me by my first name, you know,” he mumbles, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Out of all the things he expected (he wasn’t sure, really), he wasn’t expecting for something to bounce off his temple, making it throb.

Shooting up, he rubs at his temple, glaring at his boyfriend’s now DS-less hands. “ _Ow_ ,” he whines, pouting.

“OhmyGodI’msosorry―“ Hide blurts out, and there are hands massaging his temples now, and the butterfly kisses around his face are very effective for making the pain disappear.

He sighs, “you’re lucky I love you so much,” he says, blinking at Hide in confusion the hands stop massaging him. Why does his boyfriend look like he’d drop his console aga― _Oh_. Feeling his face flush, he looks down, embarrassment showing up again. “I wasn’t―I didn’t―“

Hide cuts him off with a kiss, arms over his shoulder pulling him closer. He clutches Hide’s shirt, feeling his ears go red as they kiss slowly. Soon, they part and he licks his lips. Hide tastes sweet. “I love you too,” Hide breathes, and there’s a beat before, “Ken.”

He pulls away more so he can duck his head, unable to stop the impending smile. Fidgeting with his hands, he looks around the sofa and floor until he spots the dropped console. Picking it up, he hands it to his boyfriend and then goes back to lying in Hide’s lap, opening his book.

“Awwwww, you’re so cute, _Ken_!” Hide gushes, and he uses his book to hide his face. The other’s fingers start going through his hair, so he swats the hand away.

“Shut up,” he whines into his book.

“But you _are_! Ken, you are _so, so_ cute!!” Hide says enthusiastically. It’s so _weird_ hearing the blond say his first name. It’s mainly a good weird, but still. Although, the weirdness is put aside thanks to his boyfriend being so… _embarrassing_.

* * *

 

With it being such a pleasant day today, Hide came over to get him out of the house, but as they walk along the crowded sidewalk, he wonders if Hide has any place in mind, or if they’re just going to get lost. Which has happened before. Huffing, he looks down at their linked arms, “Hid―“

“Hey, Ken,” his boyfriend interrupts, and he gets an apologetic look in return. Blinking, he motions for Hide to continue. The blond draws him even closer, sides brushing, hands tangling together. “Well… uh… How long could I’ve called you by your first name?”

“Since we first knew each other?” Confused, he stops as Hide stands still, the blond’s other hand pulling him closer so they’re standing face-to-face, both hands intertwined.

“I didn’t know that!” Hide lets out a groan, giving him puppy-dog eyes and a small pout. Heart fluttering, he smiles at his boyfriend’s cuteness and leans closer.

“Why didn’t you, though?”

The blond sighs, letting go of his hands to throw an arm around his shoulders, “You see, Kaneki has more of a rhythm to it. And _Ken_ is just so… abrupt. And while I do like your first name, it doesn’t have the _charm_ of your last name,” Hide sighs again, deeply, nodding his head.

“... And?” He asks dryly, giving Hide a flat look, positive there’s another reason.

The blond flops against him before straightening, scratching blond hair. “And it would’ve been weird for me to call you Ken when you didn’t you say you could,” Hide gives him a bashful smile.

Rolling his eyes, he stares at Hide, “you’re weird.”

His boyfriend gasps in shock before pulling away to shove him gently, “says the nerd!” He’s about to give an offended reply to do with Hide’s own nerdiness, but the blond looks distracted, letting out an “ooooooh,” and then grabbing his hand to drag him off into an… ice cream parlour.

* * *

 

Today, Hide’s dragged him into a cafe to meet some of his friends. But “... Hide, we’ve already met each other,” he glances at his boyfriend next to him in worry.

Hide just grins and throws an arm over his shoulder, bringing him close. “This is Kaneki Ken, my _boyfriend_!” Hide says. Loudly.

 _Oh._ He blushes, eventually hiding his face in his hands. The cafe seems quiet, but that might just be him. Soon, the silence is broken with, “you owe us 100 yen,” one of Hide’s friends says to the others, and he looks up as money is exchanged. _What?_

Gaping, he looks over to see that Hide’s shocked too. “What,” he blurts out.

One of Hide’s friends laughs. “Just a bet we had,” another one says, and were they… were they betting on when him and Hide would get together? Beside him, his boyfriend’s mouth moves, but no sound comes out. He tries to think of another theory as to what else there would be to bet on, but comes up with nothing.

Shaking his head, he decides to focus on the _other_ shocking thing that happened, bringing his face close to Hide’s. “You couldn’t have warned me?” He whispers, and Hide’s shock melts away into guilt.

“Sorry. Should I… should we…“ His boyfriend trails off, expression twisting into frustration before settling on rueful, “I _mean_ , do you want people to know?”

He bites his lip thoughtfully, _it’s not like I’m willing to shout it out to the whole world…. but I wouldn’t mind?_ “I… I don’t mind that much? It’s just that some _warning_ would be nice if you plan to do that more? Like on live television, for example.”

Hide nods, “okay, but what if I wanted to write one of those messages in the sky with a plane? Would I have to warn you, or could it be an awesome surprise?” The blond looks at him seriously.

He sighs and intertwines his hands Hide’s, “I’ll get back to you on that one,” he whispers then glances over to where Hide’s friends ― were. “They left,” he says, looking at the spot Hide’s friends had in confusion. He didn’t even hear them leave.

A hand lets go of his to cup his cheek, gently making him look at Hide, “they always do that,” his boyfriend shrugs, “okay, but what if I wanted _Kaneki Ken is the best boyfriend ever_ on your next birthday cake? And what about my parents? And what about―“

He gives Hide a swift kiss, sighing. The blond blinks, then nuzzles his cheek, snuggling into him.

* * *

 

“Kaneki,” Hide whines, arms securely around his shoulders, “there’s nothing to do~”

He sighs, getting comfortable on top of his boyfriend. They’re on the bed of Hide’s room and Hide’s _bored_? “Don’t you have that assignment for―“

“No!” Hide says firmly, huffing.

Rolling his eyes, he rests his head on the blond’s chest, moving his hands to lightly brush up and down the other’s stomach. “Video game?”

Hide’s nose scrunches up cutely, “hmmm, nah.” The blond starts to make circles on his back, and he shivers, warmth sweeping through him.

“I could…“ he trails off awkwardly, burrowing his face into Hide’s chest.

The hands on his back pause, and Hide lets out a confused sound which also manages to sound reassuring at the same time. “Huh?”

Inhaling, he looks up at Hide’s confused expression, and he tries to get rid of his rising embarrassment. “I want to make you happy,” he mumbles into the fabric of Hide’s shirt.

And now Hide looks _even more_ confused, “you always make me happy?”

Unable to stop the smile spreading across his face, he nuzzles into his boyfriend, contentment filling him. Letting out a breath, he pulls himself up from the softness and warmth that Hide emanates to bring himself up to Hide’s face, leaning over the blond. “I mean…“ he looks away from Hide’s face, feeling his face starting to burn with his embarrassment and staring at the multi-coloured sheet instead. “I want to make you happy. Sexually.” Is it too late in the day to wish for a convenient hole to swallow him up?

Hide’s arms slacken around him, “oh.” Then the blond’s arms tighten around him, shaking him subtly until he looks at Hide’s face, which looks surprised. “I forgot how straightforward you were with this.”

He gives Hide a confused stare, “how?”

The blond shrugs, “concussion,” Hide answers simply.

“The last time you had one of those was years ago,” he points out, rolling his eyes again. Bringing his face close to Hide’s, he strokes his boyfriend’s shoulder, feeling Hide’s breath on his lips, “can…“ _I? We?_

“I―If you want―“ cutting off Hide with a kiss, he moves his hands down to go under Hide’s shirt, intent on relearning how Hide feels. The blond moans and hands clutch at his shoulders before going under his own shirt.

Everything feels so _good_ and hot and his head spins, so he breaks the kiss to breathe, and he keens as Hide begins to kiss down to his neck. His nails scratch down as they make their way to undo Hide’s pants and he nuzzles into the blond’s ear, licking his lips in concentration as he opens Hide’s fly. Furrowing his brows, he adjusts his position so he’s in the middle of Hide’s legs, and the blond hunches so he can yank the pants down.

He lets out a satisfied sound as his hand encircles HIde’s cock, and the kiss he’s pulled into is more of panting into each other’s mouths. There’s a hand pulling and tugging at his hair, and he bucks into Hide’s hips as he feels the blond’s other hand unzip his pants.

Hide starts to stroke his cock and he whimpers, desire and pleasure flaring bright as they bring each other off. Feeling Hide’s pre-come on his hand, he re-adjusts his hold and continues stroking, and he marvels at how much better doing this feels than before, and before was satisfying already. And now it’s _different_ , but the way Hide feels, the way Hide moans is still the same but now Hide is his _boyfriend_ ―

―His orgasm crashes into him unexpectedly, with Hide coming soon after.

Taking deep breaths, he takes his hand away, wiping it on Hide’s pants before snuggling into his boyfriend’s neck. “That was…“ Hide trails off, tone amazed. He can feel as Hide’s hand leaves his pants to grip his butt loosely.

“Yeah…“

“So. You _do_ like it rough,” his boyfriend’s tone is smug, causing him to groan and wonder if it’ll be worth moving to get Hide’s pillow to throw at him.

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure how Hide persuaded him away from his important essay. The bright, charming smile Hide gave him, maybe. Or maybe how he was starting to retain nothing from his research. Sighing, he plays with Hide’s hair, squinting down at the blond’s face. “We should be studying.”

“Nah, we have all day… night! To study,” Hide waves his hand nonchalantly, putting an arm around his waist.

“Not if we keep having _breaks_ ,” he says dryly, holding himself up on his bed by his free hand as he continues petting soft hair.

Hide gasps loudly, nuzzling into his stomach, “but if I study too much, I’ll die!!!”

He rolls his eyes, “I thought that was loneliness?”

Hide stares up at him, puppy-eyes obvious. “That, too.”

“We _really_ should study. Then we can be finished for the day,” he says, poking Hide’s shoulder. _And then food_ , which makes him think about his scarce fridge. Hide’s parents never mind having him over for dinner, or there’s always take-away too. They could make a date of out of it with going to a restaurant as well.

His boyfriend jerks away to gasp in an exaggerated fashion, “why would you say this?!? You’re killing me here, Ken!!!!” Hide gasps again, clutching his chest and closing his eyes.

Beginning to frown, he puts his other hand onto the bed, anxiety forming in the pit of his stomach. “That’s not funny,” his voice shakes, and okay, so Hide always jokes about studying killing him, but he just finds it hard to joke about it with his mind conjuring up what life would be like if Hide wasn’t there and ― _Hide’s just kidding!_ He berates himself.

Pulled out of his thoughts by something rubbing his shoulders, he blinks, seeing that Hide’s close to him now. And looking at him apologetically, “sorry,” the blond offers, an he blinks again, realising that Hide’s hands are massaging his shoulders.

He shakes his head, staring down at Hide’s colourful shirt (red and orange, with some English words scattered on it), “it’s okay, I don’t know why I got so worked up over―“

Their noses bump, and he’s interrupted by a soft kiss. Hide smiles at him, and his anxieties start to melt away a bit, “it’s fine,” the blond whispers, lightly dragging him down to lie on the bed, and his arms automatically go around Hide’s waist. The blond kisses his hair softly as they cuddle, and he smiles as the kisses move to his cheek, “I’d be sad if you died, too.”

* * *

 

As Hide pulls him down onto his bed, he considers how often they’ve actually taken off their clothes while doing this. Sure, they’re not impatient teenagers now, instead being… impatient uni students. “Take off your clothes,” he tugs at the hem of Hide’s shirt as he kisses his boyfriend.

Hide smiles against his lips, and arms go around his shoulders, bringing him down to lie on top of the blond as they kiss softly. A hand pulls his shirt, and he breaks the kiss so Hide can take their shirts off, throwing them off the bed. “Yes, Ken, talk dirty to me!” His boyfriend waggles his eyebrows and squirms underneath him.

He looks down in confusion, and while he know Hide’s just teasing… Bringing his hands up to cup the other’s face, he ponders as he kisses Hide. All he knows is from what he found online, and, he reminds himself, Hide’s not serious about it. Putting his hands on the other’s waist, he parts slightly, ending the kiss. Taking a deep breath, his lips brush Hide’s, “I like the way you feel under me,” he says quietly, and wow, that _sucked_.  All these words in his head, and _that’s_ what comes out?

Beneath him, Hide stops and he feels as Hide moves so his hands are clutching at his shoulders.

He licks his lips, ignoring his growing blush as he tries to think of something that’s not _terrible_ , and does half of what he’s thinking even count as dirty talk? He tries to think of another thing to say, but mortification sets in, and really, who was he kidding, _I can’t do this!_

“And?” He almost jumps at the sound of Hide’s voice, and he relaxes as Hide massages his shoulders, “what else do you like?” The blond’s voice is quiet and shaky, and he calms down more as he pulls his boyfriend into a quick kiss.

“I like,” he stops, faltering. “I like…“ trailing off, he caresses Hide’s chest, making the blond arch into him, “I like how responsive you are,” he smiles and moves so he can nibble Hide’s jaw, “and I like how you _look_ , too,” he swallows the next words and makes his way down Hide’s neck.

Hide chokes, and he nibbles the other’s Adam’s apple as arms tighten around him, “okay, actually, _no_. Shut up. _Stop talking_ ,” and he furrows his brows at his boyfriend’s tone, letting out a confused a sound as he moves a hand to clutch Hide’s hard pant-covered cock. “ _Ken_.”

“But you’re so hard and I’ve barely done anything,” he whines, shifting to stare at Hide’s stunned face and then going to lick Hide’s left ear. And why should he stop now when he’s found a way he doesn’t hate? Plus, teasing Hide is always fun. “You always say my name so nicely,” he whispers, feeling the other’s hands clutch at his back as Hide moans.

Licking beneath Hide’s ear, he caresses Hide’s cock. One of the hands on his shoulder moves to clutch his hair, and he lets out a surprised sound as he’s pulled into a messy kiss. “No―no―no Ken, _unfairstop_ ―” Hide hisses, which turns into a moan as he begins to rub Hide’s cock.

“But I thought you wanted me to talk?” It feels like his smile is getting too big to for his face, so he turns it into a pout. Hide’s fingers go through his hair, bringing him into another kiss, with Hide’s other hand leaving his shoulder to grasp his wrist, pulling him away, and he uses the chance to undo Hide’s pants and slip his hand in. “Have I ever told you how pretty you look like this?”

Hide arches into his hand as he begins to stroke, whimpering, and he pulls himself up to stare at his boyfriend, drinking in his bitten-red lips and glassy brown eyes, “please―pleasepleaseKenplease―“ Has Hide ever sounded so desperate before? _I’m not sure._

He uses his free hand to hold onto the back of Hide’s neck, pulling him into a kiss, words all swimming together in his head, sure that the blond’s close and seeing Hide so close brings him closer and the words break between the sound of Hide who’s so _loud_ and he― “Iloveyou.”

Hide comes, moaning into his mouth, and he’s surprised as their positions suddenly switch, and he opens his mouth to say something, only for a hand to cover it. Hide’s other hand pulls out his own from the other’s pants, and confusion grows as the blond rests his head against his chest. “I’ve created a monster,” Hide whispers loudly.

Sighing, he rolls his eyes, opening his mouth, but the hand around his mouth clamps down more, making him look at the top of Hide’s head in annoyance. Flexing his come-covered hand, he feels Hide let go of it, meaning he can wipe it on the sheets.

After a few moments of silence, Hide shifts to look at him. He grasps Hide’s other hand, guiding it towards his crotch, making Hide look down. “Um, okay, okay, just,” Hide stammers and _still continues to cover his mouth_ , and he lets out a frustrated groan as Hide unzips his fly, “no talking.”

* * *

 

Walking into Big Girl together, there’s an always been an unspoken agreement that he finds them a table, while Hide orders. That hasn’t changed at all, and this time he goes for one by a window, which he looks out of as he waits for his boyfriend to sit on the opposite chair.

Soon after, something pokes him on the shoulder, and he turns around, smiling at Hide, “got us the usual,” Hide shrugs as he sits down on his chair. He rests his arms on the table and leans across it, smile growing as the blond’s feet poke his legs. Hide lets out a breath and looks at the ceiling before mirroring his position. “It feels like ages since we came here.”

He shrugs, staring down at his hands, “lately we’ve been going to fancier places for our…“

“Dates,” Hide finishes, hands reaching out to twine with his own.

“Dates,” he echoes, smile growing bigger as he caresses Hide’s fingers. Under the table, Hide’s feet surround his own, knocking against them playfully.

Hide leans in to bump their noses, and he blinks in surprise as the blond brings his hands closer, “ahhh, so cute~”

“Shut up,” he pouts, ducking his head, and he would’ve said something else, but a waitress interrupts to bring them their food. Silence descends as they dig in, and contentment fills him as he savours his burger. All too soon, he finishes it and swats the other’s legs with his own.

Stopping his legs and holding them in place, Hide finishes off his burger, “oh, right,” Hide comes closer and taps his temple with his index finger, “you need to help me study for that assignment that I’ve been putting off, since it’s due soon,” his boyfriend rambles, expression a bit ashamed.

He sighs, leaning into Hide’s fingers as they start to run through his hair, “as long as nothing _distracts_ ,” he gives Hide a look, swatting the other’s feet, “us from _studying_ , you should be fine.”

Hide’s expression becomes serious, before smiling at him and giving him a quick peck on the lips, making him blush. “No distractions, sure, I can do that,” the blond says confidently, leaning back into his chair.

* * *

 

Stretching his arms up, he yawns, watching Hide playing his video game. It’s after dinner and all they’ve done is… nothing. All day. Except for Hide getting more done in his game, that is.

Since they’re at his own place, he considers getting a book to read, but he just keeps on watching as his boyfriend plays. He sighs and leans onto the blond next to him, staring at the TV screen and not really paying attention to it. Letting out a sigh, he nuzzles into Hide’s shoulder, closing his eyes happily.

The next thing he’s aware of is a finger poking his cheek, causing him to groggily open his eyes to stare at Hide.

Hide beams at him, “hey there, sleepyhead,” his boyfriend says cheerily.

Groaning, he puts his hands onto Hide’s knees so he can hold himself up, then he slumps over, giving the blond a clumsy kiss. Hide’s arms go around his waist to pull him onto the other’s lap as they share lazy kisses. Aside from their kissing, the room is quiet… “Your game?” He breathes against Hide’s mouth, sliding his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“Saved it,” Hide shrugs and gives him a soft smile, “besides, you looked so _cute_.” Feeling his face burn a bit now, he kisses Hide again, moving an arm so he can hold the blond’s face still. The arms hugging him move, fingers lightly nudging at his waist, and he breaks the kiss to give Hide a confused look. “We should go to bed,” Hide says quietly, before a toothy grin replaces his serious face.

He looks away to roll his eyes, sure that Hide’s doing that thing he does with his eyebrows. With great reluctance, he gets off his boyfriend, taking the other’s hand and then making their way to his room. Or at least to his door frame, where Hide distracts him with a kiss, gently pushing him against the door frame. His hands flutter down to tug on Hide’s shirt before framing the other’s face. “The bed.”

Hide hums against him, familiar hands trailing under his shirt, making him gasp. He pulls at Hide’s sleeves, and then pushes him in the direction of his bed until the the blond falls onto it, expression surprised as he climbs on top. “I. Uh,” Hide smiles again and pulls him closer, “that was very hot.”

Feeling his blush return, Hide meets him in the middle of a kiss, pouting as his boyfriend breaks their kiss. Hide smiles, the other’s hands yanking his shirt off, and he settles himself on top Hide more comfortably, pulling off the other’s shirt and throwing it somewhere. Hide leans up for a kiss, and he moans as it slowly becomes deeper. Hide’s hands on his back drift down to grab his ass, and he can feel his boyfriend begin to smile into the kiss as Hide begins to squeeze his ass. “You’re ridiculous,” he pulls away, giggling.

The blond wiggles his eyebrows, pecking his face lightly as Hide moves so he’s the one underneath. He smiles up at his boyfriend, who continues to beam, the other’s hands stroking his sides. Hide’s lips make their way down his neck, and he chokes down another giggle, holding onto Hide’s shoulders tightly. “Oooooh, you’re all _giggly_ ~” Hide pokes him, letting out a pleased sound as he softly bites and licks down his neck.

He moves his hand to blond hair, massaging it as Hide nips at chest. The hands on his sides stroke up and down, then pull at the edge of his pants, eventually going back up. Hide pauses before making his way back up. He’s confused, but accepts the gentle kiss anyway, happy with being with Hide like this.

Soon enough, Hide breaks the kiss to press more kisses onto his neck. “Should we stop?” The blond mumbles, sounding a bit nervous.

“No?” He replies, confused, feeling Hide relax against him minutely, blinking as his boyfriend’s lips meet his again. Hide’s hands come up to hold his face.

Hide ends the kiss to nuzzle his cheek. “What should we do then?”

Biting his lips, he thinks, feeling his blush come back as he stumbles upon a particular thought. “Um… can you get the…“ he trails off, embarrassed.

His boyfriend nods, hopping off to get his lube from the bedside drawers. Sitting up, he takes off his pants and underwear, throwing them past his bed. Hide turns around, successful in his quest, then looks at him, looks down at his body, and then strips off his pants too.

Hide joins him on the bed, watching him expectantly. “Don’t you have anything you want to do?” He asks, playing with the blond’s hands.

“Next time. _So_ , what’s the plan?” Hide smiles, pecking him on the lips and stopping his fingers so the blond’s thumbs could rub his palms.

He looks down, blush feeling deeper as he watches Hide’s hands. Clutching the other’s hands, he lies down on the bed, with Hide moving to lean over him, staring at him patiently. He nibbles his lip nervously, feeling the blond’s fingers with his. “Y―Your, ah…“ he stops stammering to gulp, quickly looking at the lube near them before darting back to Hide’s hands.

Above him, Hide lets out an oh, and he can’t help feeling nervous as Hide coats his fingers in the lube. “A―and now… “Hide trails off, voice shaking a bit.

Sure that his face must be a very deep red now, he clutches the other’s lube-covered hand by the wrist, hyper-aware of Hide’s breath on his face now as he guides the hand down to his ass. He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling a finger slowly enter him, and he sucks in a breath at how _weird_ it feels.

And okay, he did do this while they weren’t… But there was a lot of shame for thinking of Hide like that when he wasn’t there, which only got worse when Hide had partners and they never did this _before_ ― he crashes his train of thought by kissing his _boyfriend_ , whimpering in pain as Hide’s finger moves around a bit. “Ka―Kaneki―“

“I’m fine, I just need to―“ he takes deep breaths, holding onto Hide’s upper arm as he forces himself to relax. Hide lets out a worried sound, and he can feel the blond’s free hand rubbing soothing circles into his side. Hide presses kisses around his face, and his tenseness melts away gradually. “You can…“

He can feel Hide’s lips press into a thin line, “are you sure?”

“Yes,” he sighs, pouting as Hide moves away to look down, and it still feels weird as the finger leaves.

Opening his eyes, he stares at Hide lick his lips, noticing that the other’s dry hand is holding onto his thigh loosely. This time, two fingers enter, and he gasps, because _cold_. The hand on his thigh trails up to his side as his boyfriend moves so they’re face-to-face. “So, how was _your_ day?” Hide asks, smile turning into a wide grin.

He bursts into laughter at the absurd question, which stops as he feels Hide’s finger move and stretch a little bit, and he winces. “That wasn’t funny,” he mutters, leaning up to kiss the blond softly, putting his arms around Hide’s shoulders.

“If you say so.”

He whimpers again, feeling his muscles being stretched apart more. It’s approaching good now, but the sensation is still all jarring and weird, and so he deepens the kiss, focusing on Hide’s mouth and tongue. Effectively distracted, it’s a surprise as pleasure flares up, making him moan. “There,” he breathes into the kiss, “ _H―Hide_ , another,” he manages to get out.

Hide’s fingers press against his prostate before being pulled out, and the loss makes him ache, especially with Hide breaking the kiss. Soon, three fingers return, finding his prostate quickly, and the weirdness of the extra finger is overshadowed by ecstasy. His cries are muffled as Hide kisses him, a hand holding his head in place, thumb stroking his cheeks and he feels overwhelmed.

He tries to say something, but Hide keeps brushing against that spot and his thoughts scatter away. “ _Hide_ ,” he keens, and the blond’s fingers stop, “I… before… I did this and thought of you―“ he whimpers, fingers massaging that spot and making stars explode behind his eyes.

“Y―You did?” Hide stutters and he opens his eyes, seeing the blond’s wide-eyed, enraptured expression.

“Yes!” He grinds up, moaning Hide’s name, eyes closing in bliss, orgasm feeling close, his hands scratching at Hide’s back.

“ _Fuck_ , Ken,” Hide groans, and then there’s the added sensation of biting around his neck, feeling the hand on his face trail all the way down to his leaking cock.

He chokes on air as Hide begins to stroke his cock, and the fingers rub against his prostate still. The ensuing orgasm is mindblowing and intense, and he feels dizzy as he slowly comes back down.

One of the first thing he notices is that Hide’s hands are both dry and on his arms. And Hide’s draped over him, head tucked into his neck. Blinking, he stares down, staring at the stained sheets. “What about you?” He croaks out, and Hide jumps a bit, and then kisses his neck softly.

“I’m good,” Hide says meekly, and he ponders the words―

“... Oh.” _Just from watching me?_ Blushing, he twitches his hands slightly, feeling Hide’s back under his palms. He breathes deeply and moves his arms so he’s hugging Hide firmly, nuzzling into blond hair, feeling his boyfriend’s hands touch his waist.

All too soon, Hide gets up from him, and he groans at the sudden cold, and then he groans again as Hide pulls him up so he’s hanging over the blond. “Shower time,” Hide announces, slowly walking them out of his room.

He whines, hiding his face in Hide’s neck, “ _why?_ ”

Hide sighs, pushing him slightly to walk. “Because. Showers are nice.” One of Hide’s hands comes up to pat his hair, and he can feel the change of flooring as they reach the bathroom.

Groaning again, he pulls away to squint at Hide’s face, adjusting his arms around the other’s shoulders, “you’re going to join me, right?”

His boyfriend winks, “of course! And after the shower, you can swoon on the sofa while I change the sheets,” Hide says, proud of his plan.

“You’re being _weird_ ,”he squints more, “are you going to be like this every time?”

The hand in his moves to poke his nose, “next time I’m being on the receiving end!” Hide does the eyebrow thing, “and probably. It’s just… it’s nice… but showers are nice, too.” Hide shrugs, moving them to where the shower is.

Letting out a small sigh, he leans forward to kiss Hide, unsurprised with being met in the middle.

**[Fin]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~The dirty talk feels vanilla, but hey, practice makes perfect.~~
> 
>  
> 
> Hm, I was going to talk in these notes, but I'm tired from all this formatting... Ahhh, one of the scenes was inspired by a [really cute](http://gastricpierrot.tumblr.com/post/115204358158/headcanon-that-hide-likes-to-collect-sakura-petals) headcanon... 
> 
> Oh, and there was a time when I didn't write this fic for like 2 months, because HideKaneWeek, and then Demon!Kaneki took a hold of my creativity until I felt motivated to write this again. It was up to around 7k and up to the whole 'break up' phase, and before I wondered if I should add the whole 'Hide gets a boyfriend' after his girlfriend thing, which I dithered over a while. And basically, I added it because of reasons. :D


	3. Aside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a thing, with Hide's perspective after one of my favourite scenes~

_Running to his home, he wasn’t sure what he was trying to prove with that visit to Kaneki. It was just a stupid thought, from a stupid thing one of his stupid friends said. And it’s not― he doesn’t―_

_Except he does?_

_Reaching his apartment complex, he pauses at the door to catch his breath, bringing his hands up to hide his face. Now that he’s stopped running, he can feel the cold night. Bracing himself, he opens the door, making a mad dash to his apartment, not in the mood for the elevator. Fiddling with his keys, he opens the door, muttering his I’m home before heading to his room._

_Shutting the door behind him, he slumps down against it, covering his face with his hands, one thought clear._

I’m in love with my best friend.

 _He tries to come up with ways he isn’t, but all he can see is how much he loves Kaneki’s smile, his laugh, his_ everything _and everything he’s been feeling for Kaneki has become so clear and he’s―_

_Very stupid. Groaning, he hits his head against the door behind him, guilt like bile in his throat._

Stupid, stupid, stupid… you hurt him. _Sighing, he brings up his knees to hide in. Sure, he was emotional, but did he have to be so_ rough? _Just take out those stupid emotions on that best friend you’re in love with?_

_But Kaneki didn’t push him away, was eager, as he always is with their― thing._

_The thing that should stop, now that he thinks of it. Kaneki looked so peaceful, so cute when he fell off to sleep, and he should’ve left, but he just sat down next to his sleeping best friend ― who he’s in love with ― and just stared at him sappily, petting the soft black hair._

_He gulps, heart feeling too big for his chest, wanting to scream_ “I love Kaneki Ken!!” _from the rooftops, to Kaneki―_

_And he can’t. He can’t do that to Kaneki. And the kissing, touching… He can’t do that either. All too easily, he can see himself just professing his love after they’ve had their fun. Putting his best friend in that position is horrible._

_The thought of stopping that hurts, too. It’s become another facet of their relationship, another way for them to communicate. For a moment, the thought of never being able to kiss Kaneki again hurts more than he can bear, and so he shuts his eyes and tries to will away the building tears, holding his knees close._

_His phone vibrates suddenly, breaking his thoughts apart. Pulling it out of his pants pocket, he takes a deep breath, steeling himself before staring at Kaneki’s message._

_**You ok?** _

**[Fin]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Heh, parallels.~~
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading all this! :D
> 
> [(Rebloggable)](http://lenreli.tumblr.com/post/117236639475/hidekane-in-the-depths-of-you)

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of formatting it all at once, it's split into two parts (+ a bit) for my own sanity. :D 
> 
> Feel free to comment here or [my blog](http://lenreli.tumblr.com/ask)~ (◡‿◡✿)


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